spring day.

no. 2

❝ time is so cruel, i hate how things go between us
now seeing each other for once is so hard between us
it's all winter here
even in august, it's still winter
time is gone by mind
like a snowpiercer, i was left alone
i wanna hold your hand and go to the other side of the earth
please put an end this winter ❞

🌙

hyungseok was still asleep. every day seemed worse and worse, and longer and longer. yet, jaeyeol stayed loyal. every day he stood by the hospital bed, and every day he held hyungseok's hand.

days always seemed to feel the same. waking up at the same time, going to school at the same time, seeing hyungseok at the same time. it was exhausting, and jaeyeol hated it. every time he thought of the routine he lived, he remembered all the times hyungseok would take him on a spontaneous adventure. every day he lived the same, and every day he was reminded of hyungseok. 

then, one day, jaeyeol couldn't take it anymore. every felt like it was his fault. his fault. he didn't even know why hyungseok was in the coma. and he blamed himself for not even trying to ask why.

he blamed himself for everything he did. he blamed himself for waking up, going to school, even eating. all because who he loved most couldn't do any of that. days went on and on and on. 

then, suddenly, every day seemed short. time flew by, and jaeyeol didn't care. he lost track of the time, the date, his schoolwork, everything. the only way he could tell when a day had changed was when he had arrived at the hospital.

it'd become almost routine for him to go to hyungseok's room. room 314. third floor, to the left. 6 doors from the next turn. yet, no matter how distant jaeyeol felt, how depressed, how disappointed, he went to that room. and every time he went to that room, he held hyungseok's hand.

the hospital room quickly turned into jaeyeol's home. days spent there turned nights, nights turned weeks. it was at least once a week that he would sleep on the couch in the room, only to wake up to see the boy he loved most in a fucking coma. and he was so fucking alone.

hyungseok's mother couldn't afford a daily visit to the hospital all the way in seoul, so jaeyeol was constantly the only person visiting hyungseok. school returned to the way it was before the new boy had walked into the classroom. jaeyeol was ignored, and he couldn't do anything about it. he couldn't talk, and he lacked to confidence to do so even if he had the ability.

everything he did, he did alone. he shopped alone, went to class alone, visited hyungseok alone. all he wanted was for someone, anyone, to just see how much he was hurting.

because the only person who could see his pain isn't even fucking conscious.