Life - As I Know It

Chapter 1

1

Slowing she raised the stick to her eyes, which were closed. Trying to remember his words, 'make sure before getting carried away with your emotions.' Emotions. All she had was emotions and she couldn't control them. Never been able to. Sad. Happy. Scared. Annoyed. Whichever the emotion, it always flowed out. Sighing, she opened her eyes. "Oh," was all that escaped her mouth. Now she knew. She still didn't know if she was happy or sad. Life was never easy for her. Always something...

Ten years ago...

"Tra, I promise you," he whispered huskily into her ear from behind. She laid there feeling his weight on top of her. Her silent pleas to God unnoticed. Tears staining the pillow that her face was shoved into, yet not a sound out of her. "You will learn to enjoy this," he groaned into her ear as he continued with his movements. Closing her eyes, she tried to envision herself some place else. It was very hard to do feeling every movement of the bed.

"Why?" She was able to ask in a soft whisper.

"Don't ask questions or talk for that matter," he continued. "And if you tell anyone..."

This is where she usually stopped her memories. Harsh, ugly memories. When would things go right?

Present day...

Traditional was her name. She hated it with a passion. She preferred Tra (pronounced Trey) since she was able to tell people. Her parents were a bit strange so when asked what they wanted to name their newborn daughter, they both said, "Something traditional." That's when the light bulb went off in her mother's head. See her father wanted something traditional, her mother on the other hand wanted something different. Unique. Hence... She was named Traditional Nina Waters.

She stared at the results in her hand. Pushing three on her speed dial, she placed her cell to her ear. The familiar answer tone sounded in her ear before she heard, "Well..."

"We need to talk," she paused, "Now," and she hit the end button. How would he react to this? She still didn't know how SHE felt about it.

Walking to make some tea, she absent-mindedly laid the stick on the counter and went on with her tea making. Why? How was I going to do this? What will he do? It kept going through her mind.

She didn't hear the door to her apartment open. Or close. She sat at the table sipping her tea staring out the window.

"Tra?"

"Wha...," she spat out, spewing out tea all over her and the table. "Oh my," she coughed. Placing a hand on her chest and the other placing the tea down on the table. "You scared me."

"I didn't mean to, but I rushed right over," he paused catching his breath. "So..."

How she loved looking into those eyes. They made her feel safe but at the same time, something was off. She knew he had secrets. They both did. "Johnny...," she took a deep breath. What will he do? I have no choice, it must be done. "Johnny, I took a test."

"And...," he looked anxious as he asked for the results.

"And...."

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