Burn (Loki x Reader)

[16]

Avengers Tower. Your home. You were so glad to be back. 

You sat in on one of the couches in the living space, breathing peacefully knowing that everyone was asleep in their own rooms, mostly unharmed. It was something like 2:30 in the morning and you were sat, watching the stars with a cup of (your favorite hot drink). You hadn't been able to sleep since you'd come home two days before. You were so tired but every time you closed your eyes you saw Young holding Loki and felt the freezing snow soak your boots. Everyone being okay didn't make it any easier to forget. The events sparked so many thoughts that you'd tried to bury deep inside of you for so many years. Filthy hands and unapproving gazes and cold, dark, lonely rooms were the only things that filled your thoughts. You couldn't seem to shake to overwhelming uneasiness that the vial prison gave you when you entered. 

"You really should come to sleep," you heard a voice behind you. You didn't even jump at the sudden break in the silence. You knew who it was.

"And you're one to talk," you answered, taking a sip of your drink. 

"The room is colder when you're gone. It makes it harder to fall asleep when you aren't there," Loki admitted. You couldn't help but let a small smile grace your lips. 

"I can't sleep. I already tried and it didn't work so I'd rather watch the world. You're welcome to join me if you like," you explained. You heard soft footsteps coming closer to you before you felt Loki sit down beside you. You didn't take your eyes off of the sky. The two of you sat together, watching cars pass by below you as the city sparkled with the stars above it.

"Do you ever wish you could just run away from who you are? Leave all of your thoughts behind and just be truly free for once," you asked. The question seemed a bit heavy for 2:30 but the haze of darkness over the room made you feel as if you could say anything. 

"Where would you like to run?" Loki questioned. He sounded tired as he hummed his words. 

You pointed to the first spot that your finger landed on in the sky. "Right there," you stated. Flying away and drifting through the stars seemed like the easiest thing to do. You heard Loki chuckle beside you. 

"Maybe one day I could take you there, but for now I need you to come to sleep," he tried to convince you once more.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep until someone makes sense of all of the things going on in my head," you mumbled. 

"I can try my best," he offered. All you did was nod in response before closing your eyes and letting Loki into your memories. Images flashed before your eyes before they all stopped. 

You were in a frigid room in nothing more than the unwashed rags you were given to wear at the base. You couldn't have been more than ten. Young was at your side, holding one of your hands as he led you through the winding halls of your old home. You looked up at him with such fondness in your blank eyes. You looked so hollow and desperate to cling to anything you were given. Young was all you had left in life. You couldn't remember your family and you didn't have any home other than the room where you were kept. You never made any friends and you didn't have any siblings. 

"Where are we going?" you questioned. The innocence in your young voice broke your heart. If only you knew how fast that would end. You were surprised it lasted this long. 

"We're going to see what you can do. I want you to give it everything you've got. We're preparing you for a very special mission in a few months," the doctor answered. He sounded almost like he cared for you and your well being. The hallway soon ended and a cold metal door blocked your path. Young kneeled down to your level. "I'm going to have to go into the room next door to watch you but I'll be there the whole time, okay? Just do your best," he told you. You nodded without a question. You still trusted him. 

You entered the room as Young opened the door for you and then shut it as you entered. The room was massive with blinding lights filling the space. The floor was the same bright silver as the rest of the building. As you took in your surroundings you heard a door on the opposite side of the room open and close, drawing you from your focus. A young boy no more than a year older than you stood just inside of the room. He had hair so dark that it absorbed the light around it and piercing blue eyes. You made eye contact and you instantly realized that there was nothing of the boy in his hollow body. Whoever was in there before was no more. Without warning he began lunging at you with bursts of whatever dark magic they'd put into him in the lab. You dodged every blast as best you could, not wanting to fight back. The longer you went the more tired you became as your breathing and heartbeat became more and more unsteady. 

"Fight back! Kill him! End his miserable existence! Burn him down!" you heard a voice hiss inside of your head. It rattled through your skull and made your ears ring. You didn't want to listen but you were running out of options. You were locked in a room with a murderous science experiment. You glanced up at the window to the observation chamber above where Young stood. His face was cold and emotionless but insanity danced behind his eyes. Narrowly missing another attack, you turned back to your opponent. Without really thinking you flicked your wrist out, throwing a flaming dagger and leaving a deep gash in the dark haired boy's shoulder. His attacks slowed, but they didn't stop. You on the other hand were slinging attacks one after the other; each one leaving a bright red mark. 

After only minutes of combat you had your enemy on his knees, unable to stand. He stayed motionless in a pool of  red on the freezing floor. You tried to come to your  senses but the violent voice inside of your ears took over. You looked down at the boy on the ground and saw something in his eyes that wasn't there when he entered. The amount of emotion in his expression almost knocked you out. He looked as if he were silently begging you to finish your job. End what you had begun and let him out of this place. It was as if his only freedom from this prison was death and you were the only one there to offer it to him. You felt your hands heat up, ready to let go. 

"You're free. I'm sorry," you whispered. As the words left your lips flames filled your vision.

"(Y/N)! Are you alright?" you heard Loki ask frantically as you opened your eyes. 

"You saw it too?" you squeaked. You felt like crying but couldn't do anything other than sit still. Loki just nodded. You were glad that he didn't seem to look at you any different even after seeing what you'd done. 

"I knew that room looked familiar," you stated, almost whispering. 

"We've all done bad things (Y/N). I know digging up old memories is painful but it's also vital to your understanding that you were tricked for so many years. You were told that you were being protected and cared for when in reality you were being used. You are not your past (Y/N). You are strong, and powerful, and smart, and beautiful, and funny, and kind, and I love you (Y/N)," he froze after the last words left his lips. Your heart skipped a beat as you took in what he said. 

"I think I love you too, Loki," you answered, as a smile began to spread across your face.

~~~

You don't remember falling asleep on the couch but you woke up tangled in Loki's arms right next to the massive window you were looking though only hours before. The sun streamed in over the room, casting golden light over everything. You got yourself out of Loki's grip and stretched yourself out. You groggily entered the kitchen, still half asleep. 

"Happy birthday (Y/N)!" you heard your whole team yell. 

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Hey! Look at me slowly filling plot holes one by one. So I hope you guys liked this little glimpse into your character's past. It was kinda sad not gonna lie but I mean at least things are getting better now. Thank you all so much for all of the reads and votes and comments. I really love talking to you all and reading all of your reactions as you read. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far. Much more is to come so stay tuned for that. Thank you all so much for reading! <3