Finding Love In a Hopeless Place

Chapter 10: What do I want?

A few minutes passed while Thomas was away. It was then, when I heaard Newt calling for me.

        "(Y/N)? Are you still here? I need to talk to you about something..." He sounded concerned from wat I could hear down stairs. He made his way up the stairs, and knocked twice on the open door. He's always been polite dispite the surcumstances.

        "Uh, yeah Newt, what's up?" I was kind of affraid of what he had to say.

        "Well, there's been a few things  I've been thinking about since what happened earlier today. I know buggin' Gally is going to be gone for good tonight, but I worry about you a lot.." He paused, with an embarressed look. "I know that you and Thomas have history or whatever, but things are different here. We fight Maze monsters for bloody sake!" He tried to play it off light hearted for what he was about to drop on me. "What I'm trying to say is, I've felt a spark with you ever since you confided in me earlier. I know that sounds bloody sick given what happened, but I had to get this off my chest." He looked genuinely sorry for coming in between Thomas and I. I felt an ache whelding in my heart. This was a confession of feelings from one of the toughest guys around here. I didn't know he had a soft side. What am I going to do about this? Thomas could be here any minute and ask what's going on. My head was swirling with the possibilities of what might unravel. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't feel anything when he comforted me. I felt a warmness from him that was lacking from absent Thomas. My heart is fighting me. "So I guess I'll be going. I have a lot of planning before the bamishment tonight. The slint-head's gonna get it, don't worry. He put on a smile an squeezed my forearm. His smile read happy, but his eyes read sorrow. I tried to put on a smile, and he left to deal with Gally.

        Left with the burden of possibly loving two boys at once, Thomas trailed in five minutes later. He carried two plates full of turkey, mashed potatoes, and some vegitables. The plate looked delicious, but eating was the last thing on my mind. But, I couldn't let Thomas see what happened, just by my face. I tried as hard as I could to look unfazed.

        "Hey, I'm back."  He said with a smile. He sat down next to me on the bed, and handed me my plate.

        "Thanks Tom."  I smiled back. I started to dig in, because I was unable to think of what to say. Before he had time to ask me why I was being quiet, we heard yelling from outside. I looked at my watch, it was 8:15. It was time for Gally to discover the outside world of Greivers and running for your lie, literally.

I was nervous about the whole thing. Not only did I feel like this was my fault that Gally was being banished. On top of that, I had the unsettling burden of having to chose between Thomas, or newly found tender and sweet, Newt.

        Thomas and I hurried to the stone wall opening to join the rest of the Gladers. When we got to the center of the crowd, I wanted to turn back and run away from everyting that has happened. Gally was tied by his wrists behind his back. He had a thick long pole leading to his neck made of what looked like steel. A leather strap clentching his throat, true humiliation and horror. I almost started to cry, when Newt started to shout above the murmers of the crowd.

        "Everyone, bloody simmer down. It's time to say goodbye." he paused as everyone's voices diedout. "Gally, I don't need to tell you why you're here. You asulted the only girl we have at the Glade, and have wanted to kill her and Thomas ever since they got together, you shuck face." His face read disgust. "It wasn't a written rule, but implied. I know you have most of your memory, but for some reason, you forgot how to treat a woman. This behavior is buggin' unexeptable. I'm sorry Gally, but If I were to let you go on here, any other shank here could get the idea that doing this to (Y/N) was alright. So,-" Gally tried one last time to throw his pride on the floor, and beg. It made me sick with guilt.

        "Common' Newt. please. I'm sorry I tried to do anything to her. I was only jealous. I promise to never ever touch or even talk to her again if that's what It means to stay here." His eyes burned with desperate pleas.

        Newt Winced at how desperately he wanted to live in the Glade, but his mind was already made up. He promised me he would ban him, and that's what he did. Alby, Newt, Minho, Frypan, Wiston, and all the other keepers put two hands on the pole, Newt was the leader of the pole.

        "I'm sorry Gally, but this is goodbye. Goodluck out there." Newt said his final words as the group forced Gally forward into the darkness of the gaps between the walls. Gally fought to break free at first, but then gave up. He knew no matter what, his final destination was to fend for himself. Once they reached the middle of the gap, the walls started to grind against the stone ground, signaling the day was coming to a close. By the time Gally reached the end of the gap, he turned to face the crowd towards the grassy Glade. Right before the walls shut, I could see him drop to his knees, showing his defeat. By now I was crying. As much as I hated Gally in the begining, he only acted out because he wanted to be with me. And for the cost of a crush, he is forever gone into the never ending night terror that is the Maze. I felt so much remorse it made me want to puke. I started to walk away from the crowd, when Thomas stopped me with a hand on my wrist. I turned around, and before I could say anything, he pulled me into his arms. My wet eyes made their way into his chest. His grasp on me was warm, when I felt so cold.

        "I'm so sorry you had to see that and I'm so sorry I wasn't here to protect you." He kissed the top of my hair and rested his chin on it. "I promise I will be here for you, as much as I can." We stood there until the crowd seemed to find it's way to their sleeping bags.