Youtuber Oneshots

smiles, coffee, and melancholy thrills

  You Author's note this deals with depression, and alcohol. if you feel you may be upset by this or have trouble with these types of things then please do not read this.

____________________________________________________________________

(Your PoV) 

I wake up-- emptiness. I'm used to it, and the staring at the ceiling, the turning onto my side, the pulling my blanket closer trying to console the coldness, the want to stay there in bed forever. What's the point?  To get up means to feel the pain of another day with no friends ever since... stupidity. I checked my phone I saw a couple missed calls from Alex. I texted him.

petty: yes you bloke.

lesbieb: you okay? it's ten and you haven't gotten out of bed... 

reading that I shut off my phone. Right, I'm at Alex's, why am I not remembering these things. God, I'm so stupid. 

click, ssrr, click, he opened the door I turned over to see him... and sat up. he sat on the bed and smiled softly. handing me a mug... I took it hesitantly. 

"Sorry about that, last night, I'm just stupid like really stupid, I shouldn't have had so much, I shouldn't have had any alcohol. I'm sorry," it was silent except our breathing, he nodded but the silence was deadly I wanted to hear him say he forgave me, wanted him to understand the empty feeling clawing, anxiety, and the hangover.

   I scrambled to get up I ran to the bathroom placing the mug onto the ground. My head hovered over the toilet before vomiting. Vomit anything in my system purged. Alex stood in the doorway hesitant he didn't come close.

"You're forgiven-- y/n." He moved forward but turned around grabbing a comb and something like a hair tie I was unable to tell before I started to vomit again.

  He brushed through my hair and tied it up into a rough ponytail. He rushed and brought water and I thanked him quietly, pushing my body against the cold porcelain of the bathtub, my body ached and I just wanted to go home, not that crumby school-provided apartment, but home to where people care, home where mistakes aren't fatal. God, I hate it so much that I have nobody here. Nobody, they all hate me now, even him. It's his fault that it happened he is the one who offered and insisted that I drink, I didn't kiss him because I wanted too, I did it because I was drunk. I coughed a bit but swallowed the vomit that was coming up.

    Alex left and I heard him turn on the tv, god he sure knows how to be a dick. I didn't dare stand up I just sipped the water he had gave me despite the awful taste of vomit. I sat there for a good maybe twenty minutes before Alex came back, taking my water and placing it elsewhere lifting me up, with slight struggle may I say. He carried me to the couch and put me down gently he smiled a bit, "I'm sorry," he left to the kitchen and came back with some soup, "here, I don't think it'll help too much but the toast and hashbrowns are taking longer than expected." he laughed nervously.

   I nodded, "thank you Alex," I smiled taking the bowl from him. I sat there in silence eating the soup he had given me while he was in the kitchen, on the tv was The Jeremy Kyle Show, security Steve was busy with this situation. I giggled as this tiny man somehow got past him and started attacking the other guy. It didn't last for long, how predictable, security Steve is good at his job, kinda.

   Alex came back with a plate full of food hashbrowns and toast and he sat next to me keeping the plate in his lap, I was basically finished with my soup so I adjusted to be moe comfortable, leaning on Alex's shoulder grabbing the peice of toast and praying to god he has the decency to put butter on it before bitting into it, Alex did. After finishing both peices of toast Alex had so graciously left you one bite of hashbowns. I took it glaring at Alex while I chewed. He laughed shaking his head. I readjusted the blanket to share with him. I frowned rembering that I had no reason to lay on him anymore, so I went to sit up but Alex looked down at I, "uhm you can stay like that if you want I don't mind." he turned his head back to the tv but I could still see the redness in his face.

   I tried not to laugh, you were successful, but a smile crept onto my face as you refixed you head back into the crook of his neck. I felt better the shit headache was still there but Alex letting me do this made me so happy. We watched the TV for a bit getting up to get water, it was calm after a while we just played cards. We were having fun James came over, we tried to get George to hang out with us but he was busy. but none the less  we had fun, no alcohol for me but to be honest when ever James is around Alex and him will get a bit tipsy.

  James left and I was left with Alex, he wasn't drunk or tipsy so it was nomal. We sat on the couch and tuned into watch some 90 day fiance, we fell asleep on the couch my head in Alex's lap. I was woken up to Alex kissing my on the forehead but I thought it would be best to pretending I was alseep but I couldn't help but crack a smile.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
hello Everybody This was part two to Small things I hope you like it I worked really hard to complete it and I think that this is one of the best chapters yet, it isn't supe long or short.

bye bye -O