Trailing Stars (Trailing Stars #1)

Chapter 9

I barely start looking for the next gift when Hannah passes me on the way to the register with an armful of objects.

"You're done already?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah, but you take your time. I'll wait outside."

I nod slowly. "Okay. I'll try not to take too long."

That's weird. It's usually Hannah that needs more time to pick out presents and me that finishes first. Maybe it's the fact that Morgan isn't here to celebrate Christmas this year, but it feels important to think through the gifts this time around. Not just for everyone else, but for me, too. If I at least do this much, maybe the weight on my chest would lift a little.

Once the door shuts behind Hannah, I look for her gift. It doesn't take long for me to find something she might like. I stop in the aisle of bracelets, eyeing the shelf with flower designs.

"The flowers are birth month flowers." The man comes out from behind the counter to stand beside me. "Who are you buying them for?"

"My sister," I say. "She was born in October."

"She's a marigold." He takes down the right bracelet for me. "Marigolds are supposed to represent protection, comfort, and healing. Does that sound about right?"

"Mostly." Depends on how you see Hannah. I take the bracelet from him. "Thank you."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

He's probably busy considering he still has the book tucked under his arm. His voice is soft, though. Open to helping me. He looks that way, too: casually dressed up with naturally neat hair.

He notices me staring and smiles. "It's not a problem, really. It's my job to help you."

If he's offering... "I still need to find a gift for my dad."

He glances off to the side, thinking for a second before leading me down a few aisles. He stops in front of a case with keychains, reaching for the star-shaped one.

"It's something you can write on," he explains. "Just a thought, but your dad's name could go in the middle. On each point, you can write your name and your siblings' names. Maybe your mom's name, too, if there's room."

"That's not a bad idea." If I can bring myself to write Morgan's name that is.

He smiles, leading me to the counter. He hands me a permanent marker. I reach out for it, my hand shaking. I grab it and hunch over to write before he can notice. I carefully write Dad's name in the center of the star. The tip at the top is Mom's name. The one on the right is Hannah. The one on the left is Kate. I put my name on the bottom right. The marker hovers over the bottom left tip. No matter how much I try to press the marker down, it won't touch the star.

This is stupid. It's just a name. I should be able to write his name without feeling my throat constrict like this. Any other time, I would laugh at how hard it is for me to do this. But right now, it takes everything I have not to cry or scream or do both.

I take a deep breath and scrawl Morgan's name, letting it out once I finish. I give the pen back to the man and push all the gifts toward him. Better pay and get out of here as soon as I can.

"Which one are you?" he asks, examining the star.

I tug on the ends of my hair. "Mona."

"It's nice to meet you, Mona. I'm Nick." I hope my smile doesn't look as anxious as I feel. "There are four of you?" Three, but I nod anyway. "I have four kids, too. One girl and three boys. The oldest is around your age." All I can think about is how close of a parallel that is, every other thought leaving my mind. Nick probably reads awkwardness into my silence and laughs to himself. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I guess a dad's gotta brag about his kids sometimes."