Beloved

10.

'Yes,' I replied.

'You don't have to' She replied.

'What do you mean?' I asked her. The waiter arrived with our order just then, so she didn't say anything.

'I don't want you to miss your school because of me...I am a big girl, I can walk to school and back home on my own' She told me.

'I know you can...' I started to speak but she cut me in.

'Then nothing...please Ayat, you don't have to kill your dreams because of me. I don't want to hold you back. Our lives are never going to be the same, but it doesn't mean that our lives have to be hard. We will have to make some adjustments, but we can still live our own lives.' She said to me.

'I don't want you to feel neglected, I want to be there...' I told her.

'I will never feel neglected by you no matter what...just don't give up on Papa's dreams, he wanted you to be in school and graduate and do something wonderful, so please don't leave school because of me' She told me.

'How did you know I was planning on leaving the program?' I asked her.

'Because I am your sister' She smiled at me.

'Since when did you start speaking like a grown up?' I smiled back.

'Oh common, I was always this smart' She stole some fries from my plate and winked at me. This was Haya I thought I'll never see again. I guess our home won't be silent after all.

'I missed this version of you' I told her.

'I know...I guess after Mama passed away, I still knew it was going be okay because Papa was there but when he...he left us, I froze you know. We did so much together, he told me so much about so many things and all of a sudden, he wasn't there, and I didn't know what to do but today in school when I sat with my friends and talked to my teachers, I felt normal again. Then I thought about you and realized that you might be feeling the same way I was...and that's why I think you should continue going to college. It will help to normalize everything, staying in an empty house full of memories that still feels fresh with stain them. I don't want that for us' She explained to me.

'I am so proud of you Haya, you are right...I guess I really needed to hear that' I reached out and covered my hand over hers. I thought it was my duty to protect my little sister but instead it was Haya who made me feel secure. We continued talking about other things as we ate. After spending so much time either by myself or talking to people about Papa and listening to their stories of him, it felt so good to have a normal conversation with Haya, so good that it felt almost refreshing.

'Oh, I am sorry' Just as we made a turn on one of the alleys to look for a rickshaw to head back home, I ran into someone. I was so busy looking for my wallet inside my bag that I almost lost my balance, thankfully, the lady I ran into grabbed my hand to steady me.

'Thank you...so sorry...are you okay?' I apologized to her.

'I am fine, be careful as you walk down the road, it's very patchy' The lady said to me.

'Yes, I will...thank you...take care' I smiled at her and walked past her.

'Ayat?' Just then I heard Mr.Hamza's voice coming from behind. I turned around and saw Mr.Hamza coming out of a shop towards me. He first walked towards the lady who I ran into and brought her with him as he came closer.

'Mr. Hamza' I didn't know what else to say.

'That's my mom...that's Ayat and her little sister Haya' He introduced me to his mother.

'Ayat...Hamza told me about your father, I am sorry to hear about your loss' His mother walked closer to me and touched my arm.

'Thank you...I didn't know your parents were here' I said to Mr.Hamza when I noticed him staring at me.