5 - Take Me Home, I'd Rather Die

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[Title/Lyrics from 'If You Wanted A Song' by Mayday Parade]

Everything froze as I turned around and almost started drowning in a sea of Cadet-Blue.

Those Eyes...

My throat ran dry, and I felt, heard my heart pounding against my chest like it had a mallet and my body was its drum.

They're unforgettable.

It was him.

I opened my mouth to say his name, but I couldn't even croak out a whisper. All I could do was stand there and watch, hypnotized, as two blue orbs danced, swirled, and flooded my mind. I tried to say something again, but he beat me to it.

'Hi. I'm Josh.' He gave a little smile to me, and I could feel my eyes, my face, my whole entire body cloud over with confusion.

Doesn't he...?

'I... I...' I began to croak out, but I didn't even know where to go from there. Time ran in slow motion, and I could hear the dial in the safe that I put my heart in begin to turn. He leaned in close and looked at me, squinting and cocking his head. I wanted to back up from him and get as far away from him as I could, but I held my ground.

Don't let him open that safe.Don't let him break you again. 

        'Do I...' I could feel the metal door begin to get pulled open, slow and painful.

'Do I know you?'

Almost in an instant, my heart, bruised and bandaged, was in his control again – and he had already started to rip open the old wounds. I stared at him, hurt and stunned, and watched as my vision started to cloud with tears. Drawing in a quick breath, I dropped my head and blinked as fast as I could, diminishing the water before it breached the banks. Almost unnoticeable, I began to shake my head.

No. Take it back before he rips it apart again. Don't let him touch it. Don't let him go near it ever again.

I looked back up to him, flicking my short auburn hair out of my eyes. 

'No. You don't.' I took a small step away from him and looked up, avoiding his eyes. I'd started to wish that I'd never stepped foot on this bus. Sure, I expected a 'catch' to happen in the whirlwind of happy, friendly guys and new nicknames, but this? This was something I wouldn't have dreamed of in years... But if I had, it wouldn't have been a dream; it would've been a nightmare.

I felt a firm hand rest on my shoulder and looked over to see Max looking at Josh, a small grin on his face.

'This is Overman, the new tour girl that'll be filling in for our empty set times!' He looked over to me with a smile, but as soon as he looked straight at me, his face dropped into slight worry. 'Woah, Overs... You okay?' He asked, tilting his head a bit to the left. 'You're looking a little pale there...' In an instant I felt my face grow hotter. I looked down, biting my lip.

'Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all. There's a lot of stuff happening, y'know... I still need to get a little more used to it.' I brushed his hand off of my shoulder and started to walk to the back of the bus. 'I'm just gonna go lie down for a bit, okay? Just come get me when we start moving.' I wanted more than anything to sprint as fast as I could and get away from here, and it took all  my willpower to just walk in a calm fashion. I gave a slight nod to Dan, Chris, and Matt, each with concerned looks on their faces. I watched as they turned their heads to the sound of someone else stepping onto the bus. I couldn't help but feel a whisper of a smile as a girlish squeal sounded throughout the bus and the emotion in  their eyes slowly died out. 

That must be 'Morgan'.

I listened as someone, no, him started laughing in joy at the sound of her arrival, and squeezed my eyes shut, taking the last step into the bunks. Whilst yanking the curtain closed that divided the two areas, I couldn't help but catch a glimpse at a raven-haired girl, wrapping her arms around Josh from the back. 

The next thing I knew, shadows engulfed me, my only light from the small skylight showing the stormy skies. I was numb and deaf to everything; only feeling cold tears rolling down my face and dripping off my chin, and only hearing the hollow sound they made as they hit the floor. 

He's forgotten me.

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