Our messed up lives

17. Not a fairytale

In response, she only stared at Amaya, probably hoping for an answer in 'no'. That gleaming expectation in her beautiful doe eyes, made Amaya split into a light laughter and she scooped up Coco in her arms.

"Yes honey, brothers are very annoying. Back when we were kids, my brother.. Addy, he used to take away all my clothes and toys and sometimes even food too! ....Now that we have grown up, his torture level hasn't decreased a bit. Infact it has only increased as he keeps staying outside the house.. comes back only once and twice... and whenever it happens, he only fights with me and irritates me upto no extent!" She narrated about her sibling-life history to Coco.

"But I sthill want a brother, daddy." Clearly, she was least demotivated by the speech, which in turn meant that Amaya's efforts had went in vain.

-"What about an alternative? Do you mind petting a doggy instead??" Dev appeared to be thinking intently with his eyes drawn in narrow slits and lips turned upside down in a hopelessly cute pout.

"Doggy? But they don't talk na!" Coco complained, pouting somewhat similar to him.

-"They do bow bow... and instead of disturbing you like a little brother, they would always cuddle and snuggle with you and ofcourse, will shower tons of love too!!" He kept explaining.

Needless to say, he was the best with kids. Always. And there at the same time, I happened to be the worst. I could neither cook a story to deviate my daughter's mind, nor could help my husband in doing the same.

Forget helping, I couldn't even stand at my place for two more seconds and left it quietly without informing anyone of the people present over there!

                                •

Perhaps my room was a better option for me. Yet, instead of going back there, I went to the second floor deck to grace its emptiness with the flood of my unbound tears.

Gushes of chilled air welcomed me as I scurried towards the farthest end of the deck. The lights were much dim here and the perkiness of the weather made me fold my hands around myself. A sense of shivering ran down my spines. Ofcourse the thin material of my spagetti top was no protection against the odd winds, but the lack of two human arms (read-Dev's) worsend the situation like never before.

Afterall it was the first time when life had broken me again but I had no idea of how to fix up all those broken pieces of mine!

                                 •

3 years.

3 long years it took me to heal myself. Single handedly, if I may add. It was a tough journey though. With Dev present nowhere beside me but his memories being there to haunt my mind every now & then, I had never thought I could pull myself through this phrase. But somehow, I did it. It took time, efforts and ofcourse lots of patience, but when I was finally done, I had released a huge sigh of satisfaction..... only to find out that my struggles were nothing but an epic failure in today's date!

Well, my whole life had been a failure if you take a close look at it!!!

Dev says that my first relationship was a complete blunder. I had lost my dignity, my virginity and even my first child in that relationship. As if it was not enough, I had lost my face and my memory too in the immediate accident I met once the relationship came to an end. Honestly, I don't remember a bit of it. But I do believe in Dev's words. And at same time, I disbelieve him totally when he says that I am not 'Nitara' by birth!

I mean..just come on man, the life I found after my accident WAS  new to me. And from that point of view, I AM Nitara since my birth!! Rebirth it is if you want to say. But hey, don't you dare change the fact Dev!