Just Wait » Boyf Riends

Yeah Okay, One Question: What The Everloving Fuck

  And I try to envision how Chloe, Jenna or Jake would react if they saw me like this. I'm the most confident person in the group, except for maybe Jake. I know how to keep my emotions controlled. Just block it all out, right?

  Yet here I am, tearing up just because I saw Jeremy cry.

  I've objectively gone through so much worse this week, yet this is the thing that makes me upset.

  I sigh, dropping his hand, "Don't cry, please," I stand up quickly and throw out the cup we keep our toothbrushes in and fill it with water, "Drink this, I think it'll help the chest-burn. Or not. I don't know, I'm pretty stupid—" I ramble and Jeremy cuts me off.

"I, uh. Don't worry. I'm pretty dumb too," he smiles up at me, "It's really sweet of you to help me, really. I can't think this can be easy for you, I'm a bit of a handful, I'm sorry—"

"Hey man, that's what friends are for, right?

He chugs the water and afterwards lets out a killer cough, "Oh, Jesus Christ."

"You okay?"

  "Yeah, yeah," he takes a minute to clear his throat, "I think I'm fine now," he gives me a quick smile, "Thanks Mi—"

And in that moment there was a knock on the door. We both stiffened,

"Hey sweetie, is everything okay in there?" I heard my mama's voice. I curse silently. Mom's known to brush things off, but mama would definitely get really protective and shove as many home remedies down Jeremy's throat as possible. We decide to stay silent and wait until she opens the door.

She opened the door slowly. Us sitting on the cold tiled floor, Jeremy having tear streaks down his face, and me in general just looking like a complete and utter mess, was probably enough to concern her.

"Oh my god! Jeremy, baby, are you okay?" She rushes to him immediately, probably noticing the tear streaks. I back up immediately so that her motherly instincts can tell her what to do.

  Jeremy musters up a smile, "I'm fine, Mrs. Mell."

  I saw her frown, examining his expression, "Why were you crying?"

  Jeremy bit his lip and his eyes darted to where I was standing, probably hoping I'd explain what was happening. I panic and stammer out a quick response: "I, uh... uhm. He... he kinda threw up blood, and then he got some chest-burn, but it's fine now, right Jere?"

  Jeremy nods encouragingly.

  Mama gasps in the most exaggerated way possible and kneels down to where Jeremy is on the floor, cupping his cheek, scanning his face and checking for any damage. She pouted, "I'm going to get you some cold water, okay? I'll be back in a minute."

  She stands up, shoots both of us one last concerned look, and then goes to the kitchen to get some water.

  I look down at Jeremy, sitting back down next to me where I used to be before Mama rushed in. He had a dopey smile on his face. I note this, "Hey? You okay there?"

  "Your mom is... she's so nice?"

  "Yeah. All moms are. That's just what moms do," I joke.

  "Yeah. Haha... All of them," Jeremy tries to add onto my half-assed attempt at a joke and then suddenly I freeze.

  Jeremy's mom left him. Shit. That was an incredibly douchebag thing to say. Holy shit. Why am I so good at unintentionally being an asshole, fuck, fuck, fuck—

  "Well, I mean, I guess not all of them. Some of them are pretty bad. I guess I just happened to get a cool one. Actually, I stand corrected. Two cool ones," I try to make up for my previous statement.

  "Yeah! Yeah," Jeremy half-heartedly adds, but his shoulders drop so I took that as a win. Jeremy doesn't need me to outright say: 'Oh yeah, except your mom.' He just needs to know that I understand what he's going through, right?

  I think back to what Jeremy wrote in his health journal: "Ugh, why don't people like, just talk to me like I'm a human being? Like goddamnit, I'm not a grenade. I'm not going to explode just because you said something mildly offensive." I internally groan.

Jeremy's right. He's not a grenade. I need to stop treating him like one. Just because he flinches at something I say, doesn't mean he'll explode and our friendship will be over. I just need to calm down.

I try to keep that in mind, but I fail that sentiment almost instantly as I tense immediately when I feel Jeremy rest his head on my shoulder. My mind starts racing through a different million things that I should say. I panic and spill out a messy string of words: "Oh, uh, uhm, I, uh, uh, what are you... what ya doin' there, bud?"

He wrapped his arm around my arm, "I 'unno, all that throwing up made me sleepy..." I can feel his hair tickle my face and I'm completely freaking out at this point, no need to sugarcoat it, "Didn't sleep much either..." he trails off.

"Oh! Uhm, well. Uh. Then... go ahead? I guess?"

He leans into me a bit more before his breathing evens out. Mama, if you don't come through that door in the next five minutes I will fling myself off a cliff and set a hex on you seconds before my soul departs my body—

A hear a door click open and I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping she'll save me.

I can feel my face burn, but that's because I'm probably embarrassed that my mama's gonna find me like this. Yeah. That's why my face is burning.

I feel like I have a bunch of butterflies in my stomach, which at the time I assumed is because I felt guilty. I felt guilty for convincing Jere to come stay at my place, while he easily could've stayed home and his dad would've been infinitely better at helping him with this stuff, considering he's more educated on Jeremy's medical issues.

Yeah. That's why I felt like I had a bunch of butterflies in my stomach.

My mom shuffled in with ice water in her hands, placing it on the counter, lowering herself down on the floor.

"He's asleep?" I say unsurely, and it came out sounding like a question, which wasn't necessarily my intention.

"Yeah," Mama confirms.

"Oh. Okay. Uhm..."

She laughs, "Oh, Michael. I... This is really sweet of you, y'know? I know I kind of had to talk you into it, but I'm happy to see you're committing to this friendship, okay? You might think I'm doing this for Jeremy and his father's sake, but this is for you too, mahal."

I take a minute to process her words. Whenever Mama talks I always need to take a few seconds to register what she said. Her voice is really soothing, to the point that I get lost in it sometimes and forget that she's actually trying to tell me something.

I bite my lip, and I can feel Jeremy's soft breaths on my neck, "I... How?"

"I think you need someone like Jeremy right now, okay?" You'd think her having a thick accent would make all of her words seem slurred, but instead they made each word more emphasized, which made every point she tried to make hit way harder.

"But why?

"You'll know soon enough," she gives me a soft smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling, "Hold on to him, okay?"

I want to argue, saying that her response is ominously vague, and that in reality she isn't giving me any real reason to keep in touch with Jeremy, and something in me tells me there isn't even a reason.

But somehow I've never felt more compelled to hold on to a person in my life.