BLUE [BXB]

EIGHTEEN (II)

   "Okay, so it's great and all, but I just have one question," Vincent broke the silence. Ethan hummed in response before the boy continued, "Why does your head look like a melon?"

   Ethan shoved Vincent's shoulder playfully as the latter erupted into a fit of teasing chuckles. Though Ethan was embarrassed, he was still smiling and couldn't really find it in him to be offended. Not when he knew all along that it wasn't phenomenal.

   Instead, he joined in on the fun. "I thought you were going to ask why the stars look like eggs. Sunny side up, am I right?"

   This made Vincent laugh harder, hard enough that his stomach started to hurt. He leaned his head against Ethan's shoulder and smiled up at the boy, who was already looking down on him with a matching grin.

   Somehow, they found themselves leaning into one another, gazes trained to each other's lips. Right before they could touch, though, Ethan's eyes went wide, and he flinched away from Vincent. The sudden movement seemed to also bring the other boy back to reality, because he lowered his head, trying to hide his hurt expression.

   "I—I need to go grab some water!" Ethan blurted out, rushing out of the room. Once the door was shut behind him, he leaned against it, letting a stream of muttered curses flow from his mouth. He buried his face in his hands, moving to tug at his hair out of frustration.

   Why did he have to be such a fucking coward? 

   He couldn't even kiss the boy he liked, without literally running away. His head was—once again—waging war, caging him in what seemed to be eternal turmoil. Naturally, he did the one thing anyone as pathetic as him would do: he ran to his mommy.

   When Ethan got to the living room, Steven was nowhere to be seen, but Stephanie was still scarfing down popcorn—must've been her fourth bowl—but had switched from Christmas movies to a bad soap-opera. She looked up when she heard Ethan, smile immediately dropping once she saw his face.

   "Baby? What's wrong?" she moved the enormous bowl of popcorn from her lap, opening her arms to Ethan who crawled into her with no shame. He buried his head in her chest as she rubbed his back soothingly, waiting for him to speak. 

   "Your son's a fucking pussy; that's what's wrong," he muttered.

   "Hey!" she scolded, partly because of his language and partly because he was being self-deprecating. "Why would you say that?"

   "Because I run away from everything," he grumbled. "Even things I really want."

   "Is this about Vincent?" she asked softly, sighing when she saw him nod. "What happened?"

   "We almost kissed," he admitted, cheeks growing hot. "But then I ran away from him. Again."

   She raised an eyebrow. "Again?"

   Ethan sighed, rolling his eyes. "When I was at his place...I kissed him...And then I freaked out, yelled some nasty things at him, and ran. That's all I ever do. Run."

   "But what are you running from?"

   "I don't know, Mom. It's just, every time I'm around him, I always end up hurting him. I try to apologize, and even I can tell it's half-assed, but he's so sweet that he always forgives me. I don't even think he knows how bad I feel."

   "Why don't you tell him, then?" she suggested.

   "Because—Because what if I just end up hurting him again?"

   Stephanie sighed. "Listen, Ethan. I know you. I know when you truly care about someone, and I know when it's just a fling. You wanna know why I liked Vincent so much the first time I met him?" He nodded. "Because, even though you were still in denial, I could see how much he meant to you. And so if you don't want to hurt him, then you totally have the power to do that. I didn't raise you to intentionally hurt anyone, let alone the people you care about, did I?"