Elijah's Guide to Not Becoming a Criminal

STEP 12 - no loop-de-loop is worth jailtime

"Last time I went on this ride we went so fast that I puked on it! And then 3 times after!" He seems positively

Kaia turns a darker shade of green. I mutter an apology when I 'accidentally'  step on the kid's toes. 

"For real, we can ditch," I insist, seriously hoping she refuses. We've been waiting for an hour in this queue and I spent quite a bit of Mason's savings on these tickets. 

In the end, Kaia doesn't have much of a choice in the matter. The pockmarked teen manning the ride ushers us past the barrier before Kaia can say anything, the desperate queue behind us pushing forward so there's no space to turn around. It seems the only way out is forward. Before we know it, we're sat in the front seat of Nemesis.

"I've changed my mind!" Kaia exclaims. I'm proud that she's confronted her fear but it's a pretty pointless admission since the protective guards have been pushed down onto our arms, the staff coming round to double-check that they're secure. 

"Hey,"  I whisper to Kaia, "you've got this." She lets out a little whimper which I take to mean thanks Elijah, you're the best, I'm so glad I'm on this ride with you and shuts her eyes firmly, gripping onto the guard so hard that her knuckles are white. 

The floor drops and we're off. 

I whoop in delight, the G-force forcing me backwards into my seat. The world spins below me, a whirling blend of blue and green and red and I can barely tell if I'm facing up or down or sideways. The ride slows suddenly as we ascend at a 90 degree angle vertically upwards.

"C'mon, it's not gonna go away just because your eyes are shut. Have a look at the view!"

Hesitantly, Kaia pries her eyes open and lets out an exhilarated laugh, which is torn away when we plummet downwards at a ridiculous speed. To my left, she finally lets loose, whooping and yelling, her hair whipping in the wind, grabbing my hand at some point.

We stagger off the ride and Kaia's eyes are aglow, her cheeks flushed and hair a bit tousled. 

"That was great!" she says. I laugh. 

"No, really? And to think how terrified I was at the beginning," I tease. "Also, is it cool if I let some circulation into my hand, now?" 

"Huh?" Suddenly, she realises she's been gripping my hand the whole time. She quickly drops it and I think she blushes, but that could just be the excitement from the ride. 

"Next one?" 

... ... ... 

Two hours and 5 rides later, even I'm feeling queasy. 

"Time-out," I declare, making a T-sign with my hands. 

"Already?!" I can't help but chuckle by the new-found adrenaline junkie in Kaia. "But we've barely started!"

"Too bad, I need a drink." 

Reluctantly, with a sigh and an eye-roll, Kaia agrees. She's suddenly very keen to tackle another loop-de-loop for someone who looked like she was swallowing down vomit a couple hours ago. Still, she follows me to the nearest cafe, though begrudgingly.

We take a seat at the bar, perched on some stools. I attempt to order Kaia and myself two smoothies and nachos to share but the bartender seems more interested in watching the TV above  us. I cough- a little obnoxiously- and finally get her attention, placing our order in quick and paying in cash before she decides that BBC news is more interesting. 

Sipping on my mango and passionfruit smoothie, I smile. The sun's out, the nachos are delicious and the guacamole is perfect. What's there to complain about?  Over the brim of her strawberry and rasberry, I spot a smudge of guac on Kaia's nose and grin inwardly. I forget, at this moment, how we've ended up here, happy to just sit in this moment. 

And it is just a moment. Things have been going too right for too long, which can only mean that things are about to go very very wrong. 

A lull in the hustle and bustle of the cafe means I catch the tail-end of what's being said on the TV behind Kaia's head. 

'...assaulted and  handcuffed a uniformed police officer."  

Oof. That sounds important. I glance up at the screen, where BBC News is showing some look-out warning. I'm already losing interest when something catches my eye. They're showing a picture of the Wanted criminal. 

Huh, that's weird, that guy looks like me. Younger, skinnier, but uncanny, really, like I'm looking at an old picture of myself. 

"He is known to be travelling with Kaia Newton, an 18 year old girl of mixed origin. They have been reported to have comitted both art theft and Grand Theft Auto."

I zone out, the bulletin replaced by a distinct ringing in my ears. The screen shows side-by-side pictures of Kaia and me, both of them horribly outdated school pictures of us. I remember that photo because I'm wearing an incredulous expression- a result of Mason mooning me behind the camera, which landed him a month of detentions. 

"They were last seen at a motel en route to London driving a stolen red Ferrari California Spyder, with number plate ET90 RBW are unarmed but potentially dangerous having already headbutted a police officer."

Headbutted?! Come on! The bulletin conveniently discludes the part about me tripping  (not headbutting). 

"If you have any information, call 118..." 

Shit. 

"Elijah!"

"Huh?"

Kaia stares at me bemusedly, "Did you hear anything I just said?"

"We need to go," I say bluntly and stand up abruptly.

"Aha Elijah, slow down, the rides can wait. These nachos are too good to-"

"Kaia. Now." I look pointedly at the TV. Kaia turns to look at what has me so worried and her face pales.

Nachos forgotten and smoothies still half-full, we meet eachothers' eyes. 

In that moment, there's one thing I know for certain. 

We're screwed.