The Ramblings of Someone Different

How I Figured Out I Was Agender

Alright guys, this is a chapter dedicated to me giving you the ins and outs of my discovery that I am/may be agender. 

First, kudos to the comic Chaos Life. The main character is Agender, and they really helped me understand that my feelings were not of the binary kind. 

Lately, I've been contemplating gender. My best friend, Mystic, is genderqueer, and they have been helping shed some light on gender for me. I mean, I just couldn't understand transgender people because I didn't get how they felt so strongly gendered. Explaining gender in general is hard for me because I genuinely don't feel gendered. I wear clothing based on what's comfortable to wear. I wear dresses when I have to, and even then wear something underneath it (like leggings) to convince myself that its just a really long shirt. I wear suits if I can instead of dresses. I don't wear skirts without something underneath, but I dislike jeans and stiff pants too. I genuinely don't consider how feminine/masculine my clothing makes me seem, its just about what makes me feel comfortable (and because I am extremely modest, I'm not sure if the dress thing is because it is super feminine or just that)

I just don't really think about gender in relation to myself that much. I don't mind my body, like I don't have any dysphoria about my boobs (although they can be annoying). I don't mind my pronouns (I'm not really around people when they talk about me anyways), but when I was online once people misgendered me as a guy and I didn't really mind. Being a man doesn't appeal any more or less to me than bring a woman. Waking up in another girls' body would be just as uncomfortable as waking up in a guy's body for me. (I saw someone use this metaphor once lmao)

I guess I never considered that I was genderqueer because I don't feel a different gender than my sex; I don't feel ANY gender. But, I don't really care if people misgender me because I have long hair and present generally feminine, if not a little androgynous. I don't wear makeup, and hearing other girls talk about their makeup made me feel out of place and alien. That was when I really started considering that I wasn't cis.

Idk, like I said, I may not be agender, but its kinda looking like that right now. What do you guys think?