Drowning My Demons

27 - Blessed With A Curse

    There was an acrid, rusty taste in my mouth when I finally woke, and the sensation that something was very wrong made way into my heart.  Eyes wouldn’t open though, and I guess it didn’t matter.  I was exhausted, done with every fucking thing that could be or was.  I wanted to sleep for eternity.  Nonetheless, I knew eventually that I would either die or come out of this; the high couldn’t last forever.  My head was thick and full of shite though so I was sure I was completely out of it, thrown for a loop because of what I’d taken.  Maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but fuck it, it was done.  I just wanted to stay here for a while before the lads told me what a pisshead I was.

    But when I heard beeping, I knew something was off.

    It took a while for me to finally get my eyes open, but when I did, I realized that I was in the hospital connected to a bunch of shite.  There was no one else in the room at the moment, white walls and monitors all a great big depressing lot.  I sighed, noting the IV in my arm, and the sheet on my body.  This was all a big mistake, I was fine.  Whatever the lads had done, whatever they’d said was a lie, and I knew it.  I’d probably just passed out or something.

    I sat there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, and wondering what that lanky red haired bitch would think about me being in the hospital.  She’d probably tell me to fuck off just as she had a month ago.  Maybe she had a new lad courting her, perhaps she was happy.  Suppose I wanted that, was it fair that I wasn’t happy and she was?  I guess so since I was a no good pisshead.  Obviously now that I was in this place, I was taking a turn for the worse, and it was no use trying to be better.  I had what I had, and no one gave a shite if I did any different.

    I licked my lips, tasting blood and sweat on them.  How long had I been here?

    “Oi, the pisshead’s awake.  Call the bloody ambulance before he goes off his rocker again!” called Matt Nichols as he walked through the door with Lee, the other Matt, and Jordan.  They were all carrying on like I wasn’t in the bloody hospital, popcorn in their hands and pops in the other.  The fuck was going on?

    “The fuck-”

    “No, no, no ya tosser, you don’t get to talk right now,” Matt interrupted as they sat next to me, “Had to call your folks and shite so we get to tell you a bit about what happened and give ya hell for it.”

    “Well shi-”

    “It’s not a joke Oli,” Lee started, shaking his head as he pulled up a chair, “We’ve been here two days and you’ve been shattered.”

    “Seriously mate, this is fucked,” the other Matt chimed.

    “Fucking fucked,” Jordan agreed.

    “You can’t do this shite anymore mate, you’re going to kill yourself.  Is it Alice?  I mean you’ve been calling her bloody name ever since we-”

    “I’ve been calling for Alice?” I interjected, shock riddling my system.  How had they known that it was her?  How had I called for her?  I couldn’t imagine what they were thinking even if that had happened.  It couldn’t have happened, there was no way.  I was fucked in the head, asleep even.  Fucking hell.

    “You called for her, not loudly, but you did Oli.  You need her,” Lee spoke, “I called he-”

    “You fucking called her?  Is there something wrong with you?  Are you thick in the head or something?”

    “I fucking called her because you wouldn’t stop calling for her Oli.  She hasn’t come by yet alright?  I phoned yesterday,” he snapped, “Fuck Oli, you’d think you’re mental or something!”