Drowning My Demons

14 - Chasing Rainbows

    The past few nights had been torturous, dreams infiltrating my head that involved, lips, hands and skin on skin with heat and steam.  I wasn’t able to shake the sensation after I woke the next morning so I spent most of my days with a light blush on my cheeks.  It was stupid to even dream that, and I was so angry with myself that I was constantly grumpy.  Marcus had started to wonder what the heck was wrong, jumping to correct conclusions about boy drama.  There was no way I would actually admit that I was chasing after a rainbow as its lights slowly faded and dragged me underground; the world I thought I knew, I really never knew at all.  He made me feel like everything was different, as though I had never experienced true society.  Still, he hadn’t messaged me since he’d been gone.

    However, as much as I thought and dreamed about him, I also dreamed of the scars on my belly.  The dead don’t make a sound until you find something worth going after, and then they scream your name, clawing at the gates of your subconscious as they try to ruin you.  I didn’t trust Oliver anyway so I couldn’t explain the dreams other than the stupid idea of being with him.  I wasn’t one of those girls who pined after a guy anymore, I promised myself I would never do that.  I didn’t want a repeat of the White Rabbit or another Andrew. 

    “Alice!”

    I jumped nearly all the way out of my skin, turning to find Marcus in my doorway with our home phone.  I raised a brow.

    “What do you want?”  He rolled his eyes.

    “The phone is for you love,” he replied, “I think it’s a…”  He mouthed ‘job offer’ excitedly which made my heart soar. 

    It had been two weeks since I’d quit being a bartender so I was trying to find my path.  I’d applied at several places, even wondered if I should just throw all my morals away and become a stripper.  Marcus had rolled his eyes at the idea even though I wasn’t serious in the least bit; I’d thought it was kind of funny.  However, I was hoping for something I could find passion in so I’d applied for a management spot at a comic book shops places around town.  There weren’t many but it was better than nothing and there was no way in hell I was working retail or waitressing.  I did like to draw even though I did it rarely.  Marcus always wanted me to draw or paint stuff for him, but I never felt like doing it.  Maybe being around art every day would help me out with that mental blockage.

    “Well hand it over,” I stated excitedly, standing and meeting him before eagerly placing the phone up to my ear.  “Hello?”

    “Yes, is this Alice Gyre I am speaking to?”

    “Yes sir it is.”  He sounded like a geek, maybe a cute nerdy geek who wore thick rim glasses.  I was letting my imagination get away from me though because for a moment I swore he sounded like Oliver so I quickly shook myself out of the thought.

    “Hello Alice, how are you today?”

    “I’m doing well, how are you?”

    “Very well thank you.  Now I am calling about the managerial position you applied for here at Gosh Comics?”  My heart rose into my throat.  I wasn’t sure why I wanted this so badly, why I could envision myself as the manager of a freaking comic book store.  The pay wasn’t great, the hours not great either but maybe I could find some spark there that would light me up.  I could sell art or something, be poor that way but at least be happy.

    “Yes sir?”

    “Would you like to come for an interview tomorrow at noon?”

    “Yes I would love to!”  The man on the other line laughed.