There has to be an After for Us ~ (shadam / klance)

Chapter 19 - The Seed of Hope

Keith ran. He couldn't stay. He couldn't face Lance. He just needed to see his dad. See his face again.

'He knows he knows he knows...'

Even if Lance didn't know, was too dense to figure out Keith's feelings for him after being shown how Keith waited all night outside his healing pod, he'd figure it out soon.

"Keith!"

Lance was calling him, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't show his face again. He'd been so stupid, letting Lance get to him. Lance had been so open in that moment... holding his hand with that look on his face. He wasn't the goofball attempting to pick a fight with Keith every ten minutes. (He also wasn't a cute face from the Garrison that would drift into his mind during long quiet nights in the desert.) He was Lance, someone he could count on, someone who had his back and wasn't going anywhere and wanted to hold his hand and look at him in that soft way he'd seen Shiro look at Adam a hundred times. No one had ever looked at Keith like that. Not until that moment.

Keith had never wanted to let anyone in, but Lance had snuck up on him. And he should've shut that feeling down. Shut it down when the first thing Lance did when he was out of the healing pod was hit on Allura. When literal hours later he was hitting on Nyma. When Lance wouldn't so much as admit that anything close to bonding happened between him and Keith. He. Should. Have. Let. It. Go.

It was a seed. Lance planted it. Keith could've let it die. But he watered it and he gave it sunlight and he protected it like it was precious. Not because he thought, 'this is a crush I want to have,' but out of a need to have something for himself because those feelings were always in him and needed someone to attach to. Keith had no idea of his capacity to love, but he was distinctly aware of his lack of capacity to be loved sustainably in return.

We don't choose who we fall for and it was always Keith's destiny to be hurt by those he loved.

"Keith..."

Keith heard his voice before he saw him. And the sound of it was so welcome in his state that he nearly began crying from relief.

"Keith, I need to talk to you."

Keith saw him, in front of him, solid and not grey. Keith slowed his pace to a walk as he approached his pop. He looked just like Keith remembered him...

"I need to talk to you too, dad," said Keith, stepping to him. He wanted to hug him, but he needed to hear this important message first, the thing so important he'd come back from the dead to tell Keith.

"It's time I gave you this..."

Keith stopped and watched as his dad pulled out... "My blade?" asked Keith, confused as his dad offered him a Blade of Marmora that looked identical to his own.

"A knife?"

Keith turned, hearing the voice behind him. What he saw broke his heart. "No..."

"What's it for dad?"

Keith watched in horror as his six-year-old self approached what he thought was his dad and accepted the knife.

"It's meaning will reveal itself to you one day. Until then you have to promise me to keep it safe."

"I promise, but..." Keith watched his nervous child-self. He knew too well the hesitation he felt. "Does this have something to do with my mom?"

His dad bristled. "Keith, don't start this again..."

"But you haven't old me anything about her." Keith's childhood living room was coming into focus around him. "Please, dad! I just want to know something. Anything!"