Chapter Two

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[bens POV]

I don't sleep. Not one wink. I just lie there and stare at my ceiling, thinking and wincing when my bruised up hip throbs.

I watch the alarm clock tick away the minutes, until finally it's time to get up. I drag my aching, exhausted body out of bed. Looking in the mirror, I groan at the large bags under my eyes and the way they're bloodshot and itchy. But I get to see Collin today.

That's what's been keeping me up late, of course. The idea that Collin is somewhere, that maybe he's thinking of me. I've stayed up all night thinking of ways to be a good boy, of ways to be what I should be for him.

Thinking about how desperately I want a relationship.

Around three o' clock, I realized that Collin could date someone else, touch someone else, call someone else his good boy, and the piercing of jealously that ran through me made me scream into my pillow. He's mine. Nobody else can have him. Only me.

I slug out the door, tired as hell, and climb into our bus seat. I rest my head against the window, probably looking like hell in sweatpants and my oversized red sweater and matching beanie. My eyelids droop but I force them open- Collin will be on soon.

He finally boards, looking fresh and perfect. When he sits down he even smells good. His eyes wander to me and he looks concerned.

"You alright?" He asks, and I nod and manage a tired smile. I've waited for this all night, I can't waste my time now.

"I just want to talk to you," I breathe out, rocking forward slightly and trying to stay awake. The rocking motion doesn't help, it just lulls my eyes closed.

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" He asks, and I confirm it with a shake of my head.

"Oh baby. Why didn't you sleep?" Collin asks, moving to wrap his arms completely around me and hold me close. I rest my cheek against his chest, just so tired. I've never stayed up all night before.

"Wasthinkingofyou," I sigh into his chest, and his arms flex around me, holding me tighter.

"Next time text me. My number was in your phone- I put it there yesterday," he murmurs, and I want to slap myself. I could've talked with Collin all night!

"I feel so stupid now," I huff, and he laughs into my hair.

"Well. We only have about forty minutes of the bus ride, but sleep now so that you are at least coherent for a little while. I'll hold you," he whispers in my ear, and I relax slowly, the energy leaking out of each muscle until I'm limp in his arms. My head lolls back against his shoulder, my face tilted into his neck, and I fall asleep.

When I wake up, it's because Collin is shaking me slightly. I blush and try to wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

"You're really cute when you sleep, pet. Did you know you talk in your sleep? My guess is things that are on your mind when you fall asleep." My face turns tomato red and I stare at him in horror. Of course he's dead right. Oh gosh. He chuckles and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"Did you know I smell really good today?" He asks with humor in his voice and I just want the floor to swallow me.

"Please tell me that's all I said," I beg in a whisper. His hands knead my back, massaging it like yesterday.

"Of course it isn't. You also desperately want to be in a relationship with me, and you love it when I order you around. It turns you on." He's laughing in my ear, and my face is burning with humiliation. I lean back to look at him with pleading eyes, my face like a stop sign.

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