Subconscious (Anxceit)

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Chapter Four: Feelings I Can't Fight

There was very rarely a time when both Deceit and Anxiety were left in the mindscape alone, because without someone there to mediate, the others came back to a hectic, dark, anxiety ridden state that took hours to clear.
But today there was an issue neither ex-Dark Side would make better with their presence.
When they left, Virgil looked up at Dorian.
"Movie?"
"That sounds horrible."
Something that may have been a smile passed Virgils face. He went over to the movie disks in front of the TV and shuffled through them, lifting one.
"Still your favorite?"
Dorian leaned forward to check the disk out.
Moulin Rouge!
Dorian was astounded. He couldn't believe Virgil remembered...
"No."
"Wanna watch it then?"
"Of course not."
Virgil put the disk in the player and sat on the opposite end of the couch. Dorian looked at him briefly, then turned back to the movie.
He was making an effort to be civil, and he appreciated that.
Patton probably asked him to, but he appreciated the gesture all the same. It was clear he didn't want to be around him, and he didn't want to be friends again, which stung. But at least he was trying to be civil.
Perhaps he and Virgil had watched this movie too many times. He could see Virgils lips moving along with the dialogue. Word for word.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return."
The words slipped out before he knew he was going to say them. Virgils head snapped towards him before turning back.
And he'd made it awkward.
Great.

Virgil looked like he'd forgotten how awkward Dorian had made it and was actually enjoying the movie. He'd sing along to every song (Sparkling Diamonds with a strange passion) and had even wiggled along in some places. Virgil had even nudged him every now and then to join in.
For a minute, it would almost be like how it used to. Then Virgil would remember who Dorian was and stop.
Dorian vaguely listened to the song. He loved this scene. When she stopped lying to herself.
"Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight."
He certainly had a few of those... he glanced quickly at Virgil, who was intensely staring at the screen. He wasn't even singing along...
"You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me."
That one hit closer to home than it should of. The literal embodiment of lying. And he disliked being lied to.
He told his own version of the truth. Everyone knew what he meant. So he wasn't exactly lying, in a way.
"Believe me when I say, I love you."
He'd never believe it. Not after what Dorian had told him that night.
Virgil would never believe Dorian loved him. Not in a million years.

Virgil was almost in tears.
And Dorian had to admit, so was he.
"Love sucks." Virgil murmured, hugging his pillow.
"I disagree." Dorian nodded.
Virgil barked out a laugh.
"You know what? I just thought of something."
"Oh?"
"I can put a character to each person here."
"Can you now."
"Yep. Patton would be Christian, because he's sweet and believes in the power of love. Roman would be Satine because he's one thing on the outside but a whole other on the inside. Logan would be the Narcoleptic Argentinian because he'd have none of that love crap."
"And me?"
Virgil thought for a moment. "Zidler."
"Oh?"
"Because you're a liar, but most of the time you mean well, and ultimately, you care."
"You don't think I'd be Zidler because... I don't care?"
"You care." Virgil nodded.
"And... you?"
"Me?"
"You."
It went silent as they watched the last part of the movie.
"I don't know."
"Well... we won't have to figure that out, then."
There it was again. That could-be-a-smile.
"Yea. We will."

Virgil packed the movie away, scanning over the titles.
"Another, Dee?"
"I don't mind." He was looking out the window.
"You don't want to watch another film?" Virgil sounded... almost hurt.
Dorian sighed.
"I'm just not thinking about much, Virgil. I'd hate to watch another movie."
Virgil was silent for a moment.
"Talk to me, Dorian. Please. Really talk to me. No lies, no riddles."
Dorian blinked at the use of his name. Virgil looked up at him, in all sincerity.
"I just... have a lot on my mind." His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, like he always did when he told the truth, like it was knotted. "I saw Braydan and Clay last night."
Virgil tensed, so slightly you wouldn't realized if you didn't know him.
"How are they?"
"Hating me as much as ever. Still pretending you don't exist."
"So they're fine."
Dorian couldn't help but smile at that. He didn't know why.
"Why are you smiling?" Virgil tilted his head, that ghost of a smile tugging at his mouth.
Dorian laughed softly. "I don't know."
Virgil stopped smiling and sighed.
"Honestly, Dee... things will never get back to how they were... but I'd like to take a stab at being friends again." All humour had left Virgils eyes, and Dorian could tell he wasn't lying...
Virgil really wanted to be his friend. Even after he'd hurt him like that.
Dorian nodded. "I'd love that."
Virgil relaxed and actually let himself smile.
"Now I don't know about you... but after Moulin Rouge!, The Greatest Showman sounds fantastic."
"That would be absolutely terrible."

The others were absolutely exhausted.
Thomas had had big issues today, and they honestly didn't want to get rid of whatever problems Deceit and Virgil had raised by being alone in the mindscape for too long.
It was a bad idea to leave two exposed Dark Sides alone. Especially when they were so hostile.
But when they came back... it was only moderately dark. The temperature had dropped slightly, and there seemed to be a fog that settled through, but it was all in all manageable.
"Huh." Patton ran his hand through the smoky cloud. "It's... easy today. I wonder where Dee and Virgil are."
"Found them." Roman called in a hushed tone.
Patton and Logan went to where Roman was standing.
If the day couldn't get anymore dumbfounding, Virgil and Deceit were curled up on the couch together, asleep, a movie playing in the background.
Patton smiled.
"Looks like my boys are getting along again."

Well, if anyone knows me, they know I just watched Moulin Rouge! myself and fell absolutely in love with it. It's a fantastic movie with an epic soundtrack. Anyway! I digress. When Virgil makes character comparisons, I've loosely based that off fangirltothefullest's Moulin Rouge! AU, so got to Tumblr to check her out! I'm really happy about anyone who's come out to read this, thank you so much for supporting my minority ship xD I love you all. Thank you.
-K