Tangled In Strings

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Unable to distract myself with noise or distractions or Giovanni, it's easy to fall into my mind. It's a place I'd rather keep out of, finding I lack the willpower to fight my way out of the dark thoughts. It's in moments like this that I'm confronted by fears and realizations. It's here that I think of the fact that Norman's gone and when it was once so easy for me to get ahold of him; I don't have that option anymore.

I'm seconds away from ruining this entire night, which sends me up onto my feet and to my bag to retrieve the bikini I nearly forgot to pack. I only have to travel to the other side of the hallway to reach the securities door. Raymond answers promptly, still chewing on his dinner. I inform him I'm heading to the pool, and if Giovanni wakes to let him know where I am.

"I'll get my jacket—"

I shake my head, holding up my hand. "I won't be gone long."

Last thing I want is some guy sitting by the side of the deserted pool watching as I swim laps. He's visibly displeased at my lack of caution, but knows better than to push me further. I travel to the roof, and to my extreme pleasure, find the pool deserted. It's no doubt closed, but when I push the gate to check, it opens with a low creak.

Dropping my towel on one of the cushioned patio lounge chairs, I waste no time diving into the heated water. As soon as I'm submerged and fully occupied, I use up all my pent-up energy to haul myself from one side of the pool to the other, only breaking the surface to gulp in necessary air.

It's easy to take comfort in the laps, in the work. Due to the warmness, I'm in no hurry to climb out, knowing I'll be attacked by the wind at this altitude. I only stop when I can't breathe, when my eyes are burning. And instantly smile in knee-jerk reaction when I set sight on Giovanni, seated on the closest patio chair.

Even in the dim lighting, his features flash with relief at the sight of my smile, my pleasure to find him there, but he quickly wipes that vulnerability away. I swim up to the edge, laying my forearms flat against the side, wondering how long he's been sitting here.

"You have quite a bit of pent up energy, I see," he says, his voice perfectly withdrawn, just enough to make his mind a mystery. "You should have woken me up. I could have helped."

After nearly two weeks hardly touching one another, my heart both jumps and sinks at his words. Since Giovanni has been back, our lives have imploded, so it's only natural that I hear the same caution in his words that I hear in my own. It's only natural that the air around us suffocates us. Our questions are many, and our answers nonexistent.

This trip is a "fuck you" to the world, but I know, just as he does, that our mind, our intelligence will never be far behind, even as we utter those vows. I'm usually realistic for the both of us, but even here, Giovanni seems to comprehend that our lives fluctuate regularly, and that every move we make needs to be carefully planned.

When we arrive back from this beauty, we will need to expect anything.

Because Dixon isn't gone. Tony isn't gone. Lola isn't gone. Monica, Ted...the list could go on.

I choose to discard it altogether, refusing to think on anything but where I am, what I'm about to do, and who I'm with. Giovanni's freshly showered, apparent by the wild curls that are tamed and brushed back, which gives me perfect view of his profile. And the sight of it, against the blue undertones coming from the illuminated water, stuns me into silence.

I'm not sure how he takes my lack of words, since he quickly changes the subject. He flicks his head, urging me out of the pool. "Come eat."

"I'm not really hungry," I say, shaking my head. "Come in here."