Magnolia

e l e v e n

I smiled back, speechless as she began to cry. My eyes stung as I got up, meeting her at the doorway and pulling her into a hug.  "It's going to be okay," I said for the millionth time, "You're gonna get through this," I assured, praying it was the truth. She nodded, although I doubt she believed me. I felt the warm tears began to seep into my shirt, the pain in my head migrating to my chest. 

A bang thudded upstairs, a muffled scream following it. Loud sobs and cries began to fill the house, my heart jumping as I knew what I saw next. Mrs. Smith dropped to the arm of the couch, nodding. I offered an empathetic smile before taking off for Luke's room. Luke has been having night terrors since his dad's death. They've only seemed to be getting worse, and lately, I have been the only one able to calm him down. 

I ran up the stairs and sprinted down the hall to his room. "Luke," I said as I pushed open the door, finding him on the floor, twisted in his sheets. His face was red, sweat soaking his skin and his clothes. He writhed in agony, screaming and crying, groping for something unknown.  

"Luke!" I shouted, trying to break through to him as I dropped down next to him, pulling him into my arms. He was boiling hot, his head smashing against my shoulder as he fought me. "It's okay. It's me, Luke! I'm here it's okay" I promised, rocking him back and forth. 

His fists clenched the sheets, his knuckles pale white as he held on. "Luke" I pleaded, grabbing his face. "It's me. You're okay, I'm right here" I told him over and over again, his screams slowly becoming softer, his movement slowing.

Delicately, I pulled his hands from the blankets. I watched as his eyes fluttered open, staring blankly at me for a moment as if he couldn't place where he was or what had happened. "Emma?" he whispered finally, staring up at me with teary eyes. 

I nodded, running my hand through his hair. "It's me. I'm right here" I breathed, pressing my lips against his forehead as I held him tight. Luke whimpered, his head falling against my chest as he hugged me tightly. "You're okay, I've got you," I said again, leaning back against his nightstand as I tried to calm myself down from seeing him in such a state. 

"Shh," I sighed, scratching his hair as his whimpers began to soften. "I'll stay right here. We're gonna be okay" I promised, my own tired eyes slowly falling shut. And in a few moments, we were both fast asleep. 

Luke

"Hey, you awake?" I felt a cool hand on my forehead. I slowly opened my eyes, letting the light in. Eventually, my eyes adjusted, a figure nearby. Emma was crouched down next to my bed, feeling my forehead. She smiled at me, to which I groaned and rolled over. She sighed softly, sitting down on the bed next to me, laying her hand on my arm. "Luke, you're going to have to get up sometime," she prodded. "Today's Thursday". 

Great, the day before Friday. Tomorrow we would burry my father six feet in the ground. And then he'd be there forever. No wonder I couldn't get out of bed. "Luke, you haven't showered in four days. You smell" she said bluntly, the sympathetic tone draining from her voice along with her patience. "If you don't get up now, I will make you take a shower"  she threatened, a little chuckle escaping me. I'd like to see her try.

I grunted back at her, feeling her weight shift off of the bed before she left the room. I sat up a bit, shocked at how easily she had given up. I guess my situation was enough to reduce her stubbornness. I laid back down, snuggling into my pillow, my eyes falling shut again. I let the warmth consume me, the golden morning light filtering through my eyelids lull me-

A huge rush of cold water came over me, stopping my lungs. I sprung up, eyes wide as I gasped for breath. "What the hell?" I yelled as my body shivered, ragged breaths escaping me. 

I looked up at Emma who stood next to my bed, hand on her hip, bucket in her other hand. "I gave you a choice," she said, ripping the covers off of me. In a moment, her arms were under mine and I was lifted to my feet. I stumbled, trying to get my footing but she was dragging me into the hall, towards the bathroom. "You chose the hard way" she smirked, the bathroom door shutting behind us.

Without another word, she pulled my shirt over my head and pants down to my ankles. Then she pushed me into the shower, the lukewarm water a shock to my system. I trembled under the water, my eyes wide as my tired mind tried to understand what had just happened. 

My mouth hung open, my eyes trained on hers which stared defiantly back. "You wash up. I'm going to go change your sheets. They're soaked in sweat." And then she had vanished back into the hallway. 

She was creative, I'll give her that. Standing in the shower, I tried to wrap my head around how she was so strong. Not just because she could carry me to the bathroom. Emma lost both her parents in one night, so young. I lost one of my parents and she is the one taking care of me and my mom. 

I just keep waiting for the pain to go away. I know it's only been four days, but the amount of pain I've felt in those days could last a lifetime. I just wanted it to be over. But I did what she said, shampooing my hair and soaping my body, letting the water wash it all away. 

I turned off the shower, stepping out where I grabbed my towel. I walked into my room, spotting the clean clothes that she had laid out for me. Slowly, I got dressed, my muscles tired and fatigued. Then I stood there, and I didn't know what to do. 

"Hey," Emma said as she walked in, arm snaking around my waist. "Sorry about dumping the cold water" she apologized, leaning her head against my shoulder.

"It's okay," I said, breathing in her comforting smell as I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. I held her close and tight, not wanting to ever let go. "I don't know how," I said quietly, after a few moments had passed. 

"How to what?" she asked, her inquisitive eyes studying my face. 

"How to get past this," I said, tears returning to my eyes. I cleared my throat, trying to stop the burn that began to grow. "I feel so weak, so-so-" I grimaced, my voice wavering.

"Hey, hey," she said, standing in front of me as she took my face into her hands. She forced my teary eyes to meet hers, my heart softening.  "You are not weak." she stared into my eyes with such confidence that I'd believe anything was true. "You are strong. You are still going, aren't you?" she asked. 

"I guess but-"

"Look I'm going to be honest, losing someone hurts like hell, and that never goes away," she said, that stabbing sensation piercing my heart. Her thumb ran across my cheek, her eyes softening. "But it becomes softer after a while. It doesn't go away, exactly, but other happy things help to ease the pain. Life goes on, and the pain dulls. It's a scar. You don't always feel it once it's healed, but it's always there."

I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath as I let her words sink in. A sad smile pulled weakly at my lips. I love this girl so much, it was the only thing that kept me from drowning in the pain. I hugged her again, pressing her into my chest.

"I love you," I breathed, "Even if lately I haven't been saying it as much, I really fucking love you" I whispered, catching the beams of sun that danced through the window. 

She nodded, gently rubbing my back. "I know you do," she said back and then kissed me.