"Waa noona! I really missed you", Jin uttered.
"I missed my cooking buddy too!"
"The last time we saw each other was two years ago before I entered the military."
"Ye, I remember that. And you're still as handsome as before."
"Oh that's why I like you noona. You never lie."
They all laughed while enjoying their favorite soju and beer.
"Anyway, how are you?" Yoongi asked.
"I'm good", she answered tersely with a smile.
Namjoon knew he has to shift the conversation before it goes to THAT topic. "Yea, we can see you're doing fine. You know what hyung, she's about to be promoted as the Head of Operations in their company!"
"That's good news! Cheers to that!" Yoongi raised his shot glass and all of them followed.
While they're having fun, Hoseok entered the room.
"Saengil chukha uri Kookie!!!! (Happy birthday our Kookie)" Hoseok screamed which made most of the visitors look at him, not including Lily.
Lily knew that voice. She can't be mistaken. It's the voice she longed but hated to hear at the same time. The voice that didn't let her sleep for countless nights.
"Hobi hyung!" Jungkook welcomed his brother with a hug. The older handed his gift. "I'm sorry for being late."
"It's ok hyung. Gomawo. (Thank you)."
Jungkook showed Hobi where the other members are and he walked towards them. Lily is facing the opposite direction.
"Jin hyung! Yoongi hyung! Joon-a!"
"Oh hey!", they said.
Lily's heart started to race. She knew he's getting closer to them.
"Joon-a! You're with someone huh", he said. "Annyeonghaseyo!" He greeted.
Shaking, Lily faced him and stood up, "Annyeonghaseyo" she answered.
Hoseok looked like he saw a ghost. He didn't know Lily would be there. How come he didn't recognize his ex-fiancée whom he loved so much?
The members didn't know what to do or what to say. They all took their glasses and drank their shots. The awkwardness and tension gave them goosebumps. Jungkook's eyes widened when he saw what just happened even from the other side of the room.
"Hyung, come on let's eat!" He said running towards them. "Oh, Lily noona came to visit me. She's still as sweet as ever, right?"
All of his other hyungs looked at him disappointedly.
"What?", he whispered.
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He later joined the members even if there's an obvious tension between them. They played a game they used to do years ago in some of their Run episodes. He can't focus and can't take his eyes off Lily all throughout the game. He doesn't know if he wants to talk to her or what he would first tell her.
"Hey", Jin whispered.
"Mwo? (What?)"
"Aren't you going to talk to her?"
"What should I tell her?"
Jin looked at him with a seriously disappointed expression, "Really? You don't know?"
"Hyung, I know I have a lot to tell her. But I don't know where to start. I'm scared."
"Start with an apology and don't stop until she forgives you. But if I were her, I don't know if I'll ever forgive you."
"Hyung...", his voice sounds so frustrated.
"I'll help you."
The game ended and she asked Lily to help her with something in the kitchen. It's not new to her so she immediately went with Jin. Jin instructed Hoseok to follow them after a few minutes.
"Lily noona can you please hand me that big pot?", pointing at the cabinet.
"Sure." She took the big pot and helped Jin transfer some more foods.
"I'll bring this outside and will be back here to help you." He carried a big pot and started walking out when Hoseok came in. "Oh good thing you're here. Please help Lily I'll be back soon", he said and winked at the younger.
"Ok", he said nervously.
Lily wasn't able to complain or say anything. She can't talk either.
"Jal jinaesseoyo? (How are you?)" he asked as he tried to help her fixing the dishes.
"Mad! Furious! Confused!" She wanted to scream. But all she said was, "Ye. Jal jinaesseosseoyo. (I've been good)".
He nodded. "I see."
She didn't say anything more.
"Mianhae."
She heard him say sorry for the first time. Something pinched her heart which made it hurt a little but she continued fixing the food.
"Lily jeongmal mianhae (Lily I'm really sorry)." He repeated and tried to touch her hand.
Lily stopped and slowly looked at him. "Ok", she took his hand off of hers and turned her back on him.
"Lily please. Please hear me out."
"Talk."
Lily let him talk without looking at him. She doesn't know if she can face him without breaking down.
"The wedding, it was planned when I was still young. I didn't know they'd pursue it since it has been so many years since the last time I saw Jang Mi's family. I thought my family would allow me to choose the life I want to live if I would be able to show them that I can live on my own but I was wrong. Lily, please believe me I didn't want to marry her. I didn't love her."
"Then why? Why didn't you tell me anything about it?"
"I wanted to, but I thought I was able to fix it without involving you."
"Bullshit!", she kept her voice low but it's full of anger. "All these years I thought you already knew me. I was wrong."
"Lily. I'm sorry."
"You should have told me. Heck you should have broke up with me before you got married. Maybe it would hurt less than knowing everything from the internet." Her heart is hurting more and more but she still holds her tears.
"You didn't know the pain it caused me. You didn't know how many days and nights I cried. I didn't know how to ask you because you were in the military. You didn't know how hard I tried to explain everything to my mom why my tears wouldn't stop falling. You didn't know how unbearable it is to lose everything you had in just a snap. You didn't know how much I hated myself because even after what you've done, my heart still wanted you. I don't know why I can't hate you. And I hate myself for that!!!"
She ran outside the kitchen going to the corner of the balcony without looking at Hoseok. She ran because she didn't want him to see her crying. She ran because she didn't want to see his tears.
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눈물 | Tears
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