I was your only friend || Enzo St. John

Sea of Red [I]

LORENZO ST. JOHN has been many things throughout the years. As a human being, he was first a son, then he became an orphan who grew up into being an honest man. Living all his life in poverty, abandoned by the woman who had brought him into this cold cruel world, no one to talk to, to soothe his aching soul - those were the first 27 years of his life. He saw consumption as a way to escape, so he could finally be released of the tormenting pain that conquered his body and darkened his heart.

What he didn't know was that death was only the end of the beginning, that only once he would become a vampire, would Enzo really be reborn. The strength that he felt rushing through his veins gave him a whole new perspective upon life and realized that his salvation was shaped like a woman, Lily Salvatore. That's when Enzo became a lover and he felt that maybe a change was around the corner and, for the first time in his life, it was almost as if he could just reach out his hand and grasp the blissfulness with his fingertips. But, as all good things must come to an end, the vampire's biggest fear turned out to come true as the woman whom he loved left.

Once again, he found himself all alone, drowning in the sea of his own dark and twisted thoughts. Despair swallowed him alive as he found shelter in the shadows and comfort only in the drops of blood that streamed down, burning his throat, as his victims clung to their very last breath of air. Even if he knew he could shut it all off, he could yet not let go of his humanity. That was all that he's got left - his kindness, sincerity, loyalty - his rigged morals. That fact has been proven once World War II started, and the young vampire enrolled in the army. His knowledge and skills in swordsmanship, guns and battle combat, along with his new powers of compulsion and his inhuman body strength were the things that made him the perfect unbreakable soldier. During those days, Enzo felt alive once again. Not only did he fight for his country, but he also fought for the injustices that happened on a daily basis in front of his eyes.  He helped his wounded companions by feeding them his blood, he took the women, along with their children to seek shelter, away from the slaughtering and the bloodshed.

Things started to fall into place once again, but little did the warrior know that he was awaiting the next phase of his life, the one where he would become a prisoner, a lab rat. The Whitmores found him thriving. The worst was yet to come. Lorenzo St. John was experiment number 12144 for 70 years. Alone again, in agony, scarred beyond repair.  Tortured every day in order to satisfy the sick curiosity of the Augustine Society, Enzo wished that he could end it all, once for good. It felt like he was cursed to relieve the same damnation over and over again, only the scenery would have slightly changed. Then, in his darkest hour, he saw the light at the end of the tunnel - her name was Maggie. She made everything that was happening to him a little more bearable. He found comfort in her childish smile. He saw freedom in her almond eyes. He heard music when she would spend the nights telling him stories from the outside world. The smell of her chocolate skin lingered upon his. Her touch made his body shiver. It was almost as if the skies sent down an angel to keep him sane through all this hell that he was going through- at least this time he wasn't alone.

The day he first said "I love you", Maggie came up with a plan. They would run away together and he would turn her into a vampire. She was delusional about the idea of spending an eternity with him, free from everything that meant Augustine and everything that it implied. In her dreams, they would visit the whole world, and they would be happy and in love and always by each other's side. Enzo knew this would never happen and did not want to sentence her for a life of pain. At that moment, even though he wanted all those things too, even though he wanted her more than anything, he did the most selfless thing anyone could do. He compelled her to forget him and all the horrific things she had seen between these four walls. He let her go, live the rest of her human life free and never look back.  He took the ultimate punishment upon himself, a life of agony and loneliness.

So she was gone and he was still there. What they called torture became child's play, it became a routine. It didn't hurt anymore, at least not physically. It was like his whole body became numb. He could not feel anything, no pain, no suffering, nothing. The prison cell was his own personal limbo and it seemed like he was trapped there for the rest of times. Forced to come to peace with the idea that he would not see another sunset ever again, that he would not get to feel love ever again. He had all those questions and no one to ask. He had all those frustrations but he could not even find the strength in himself to yell and course the skies for the life that he was damned to have. Was he even living at all? Was it worth it?  Even the voices stopped after being on his own for so long. He was slowly drifting away into oblivion.

Song: Sea of Red [1]
https://youtu.be/qBAsVi0dV1A