Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Thirty-Six.

"He can't come back with us," she informed us, giving us the fakest smile I had ever witnessed.

"What the hell do you mean I can't-" he began to say, but I quickly cut him off by wrapping my arms around his torso. He sighed before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Ten minutes," she said apologetically before closing the door behind us. She led me directly down the hall, the room she brought me too was as white as her smile. It gave me a head ache. Everything was way too clean.

She sat me down in a chair, getting a pair of gloves and slapping them onto her hands. The noise of the latex made me cringe. She used a freezing wipe to "sterilize my skin" or whatever before shoving a needle into my arm. It hurt so bad I wanted to cry and i just wanted Harry next to me more than anything.

"All done," she beamed before practically ripping the needle out of my arm. She put a hello kitty band-aid over my new wound. As if hello fucking kitty was going to make me feel better.

She informed me that my results would be in soon and she would give me a call. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I death gripped Harry's hand as he led me out of the doctor's office. Without saying a word, he gathered me into his arms and held me tight.

"What if something is seriously wrong?" I wondered into his chest. I was surprised I wasn't crying.

"No, baby. Hush." He tried to soothe me by stroking my hair and kissing my head but I was just too anxious. "You're going to be fine."

"You don't' know that." I pulled away from him, plopping down into the passenger seat of my car and slamming the door shut.

"You're right," he sighed, sitting down in the drivers seat and starting the car. "I don't." He immediately cranked the heat up, and I was grateful we had taken my car instead. The heat in his truck was broken, and Christmas time was always freezing. I was always freezing.

We drove home in silence. He even had the decency not to turn on the radio. I stared out my window the whole time, watching as Christmas tree after Christmas tree shone through every single window. The snow looked beautiful; covering everything with a coat of white. Everything felt just as silent on the outside as it did on the inside.

The warmth of the apartment was welcoming compared to the brutality of the wind outside. I stripped off two layers of clothing at the door before throwing my shoes at the door and heading straight to the bedroom.

I still hadn't cried, which was surprising because there was definitely something wrong. Well, they didn't know if anything was wrong yet; but, something certainly was not right according to Doctor Ross. It put me on edge knowing I'd have to just wait around until they got my test results back.

So that's what I did. I didn't leave my bed for a solid three days. No school, no work, no food. I was too high strung to eat anyway. The only time I got up was when I had to use the bathroom.

Harry tried to coax me out of bed multiple times, but it was useless. I wouldn't budge until I knew what the hell was going on.

On the fourth day, Harry had decided to stay in bed with me. The company was nice and the kisses were even nicer, but I kind of missed the comfort of being alone.

We lay there together silently. He traced circles over my covered stomach and I stared at the ceiling. My phone began ringing from its spot on the nightstand and I nearly fell on my face scrambling to get it.

"Hello?" I answered. Harry watched me with expectant eyes and I tried my hardest to ignore him.

"Hello? Miss James?" I was surprised to hear a mans voice, deep and burly and a tad frightening.

"This is she," I responded, swatting Harry away. He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind gently.

"Your test results are in for the blood work you had done on the eighth. If you'd come on down to see your regular doctor she has them waiting for you."

I mumbled out a quick thank you before pressing the end button. I ran into the bedroom and quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt that I had thrown on the floor a few days ago.

"I want you to dress warmer," Harry told me as he threw a shirt on and then a hoodie.

I put my hair into a sloppy bun. Let's face it, I hadn't washed my hair in nearly six days and there was no way it would look presentable no matter what I did to it. "Let's go."

I spent most of the twenty-four minute drive to the hospital biting my nails. I was anxious and I felt as if I would cry at any moment. Harry laced his fingers through mine as we waited in the waiting room. The wait was agonizingly long and I was ready to rip my hair out by the time the last finally called me back. I sucked in a deep breath as she led me back to the same room I was in before.

"How are you, Lily?" Harry wondered as we waited for Doctor Ross to make an appearance.

"I'm scared," I said honestly. He was about to say something back when Doctor Ross finally appeared. She immediately went to her chair and I didn't notice the large Manila folder in her hand until after she sat down.

She began pulling things out of the folder one by one, examining them thoroughly. Her eyes went wide when she read after them again and she quickly stuffed everything back in.

She tried to remain calm, her face was calm but her eyes just seemed so full of sorrow. Like the look your mom gives you right before she tells you that some relative has passed.

She grabbed my hand in her own and I knew just by the way she looked that this wasn't good need. I finally began to cry. Four days of constant waiting and I was finally crying.

"Lillian," she spoke, clutching my hand in hers. "I don't know any better way to say this than to come right out with it." It was silent. Everything was silent. "You have Leukemia."