Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Eleven.

I watched intently as Lily worked at her desk. I wondered if she could feel my gaze, if she noticed how hard I'd been gawking for the latter part of the last ten minutes. She looked different today, with her hair raveled in loose curls around her face and her bright red lips.

I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to say something, but the more I watched her, the more I realized anything I said would be pointless and would just float through the air as if nothing had been said at all.

I noticed how every time she stopped writing she would press the pen to her bottom lip, concentration heavy on her face. I noticed just how hard she pressed down on the paper as she wrote. Every so often she would let out a huff and push her hair out of her face. She often mouthed the words she was writing and when she did this, there was always a smile after she had finished writing.

"What?" She asked with an awkward laugh. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head to snap myself out of whatever daze I was just in. What the hell had gotten into me?

"Must be something. You were staring pretty hard." She smiled. Not the fake smile that she put on whenever someone would come in complaining about their lost cat, but a genuine smile that took up most of her face and made her bright blue eyes sparkle. Not that I was paying any attention to her smile or anything, it was just there. She had one of those smiles that demanded to be seen.

"What's your last name?" I asked. I couldn't think of anything else to say because I was a fucking idiot.

"My last name?" She wondered, obviously confused by the change of subject.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"James," she said slowly, almost skeptically. "Why do you ask?"

I couldn't tell her that it had been bothering me ever since Ashton had brought it up two days before. So, I shrugged.

"There must be a reason, Harry. Or you would not have asked."

"You know my last name, I figured it would be just if I knew yours as well," I lied. She rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to her work.

"Lily James," I repeated, causing her to look up from her work.

"If this is you teasing me then-"

"No," I stopped her. "It's just your name, not anything worth teasing."

"If you want to get even more technical, Lillian James." She pushed herself away from the desk and then walked to the front, leaning against it with her arms crossed.

"Lillian," I repeated, but it came out as more of a question.

She rolled her eyes. "But I prefer to be called Lily. Hence, why I never said anything about my name."

"Harold," I told her, cringing as my own name fell from my lips.

"Harold?" She asked.

"My name, birth name at least- Harold Styles."

I waited for her laughter or even a scoff, but when I looked up that smile covered her face, the one that made her eyes sparkle.

"I don't tell many people that because I hate it and -"

"How come?" She asked. "How come you hate it?"

I couldn't tell her why I hated it because I didn't know myself. Without warning, I attempted to change the subject once again.

"Have you listened to any more of that music I bought you?" I asked. A look of understanding washed over her face, as if she just knew I didn't want to talk about my name.

"I did, actually." She beamed. "I really like that one band. What's it called? May Parade?"

"Mayday Parade," I laughed. They were one of my favorites as well. "What song?"

"Three Cheers for Five years. I listened to the version on the CD, but I didn't like it. Then I found- like, like an acoustic version and it was just so good."

"Did you expect anything I gave you to be bad?" I wondered.

She shook her head, a smile playing on her lips. "I thought it would all be screaming and heavy drums."

"You were wrong."

"Very wrong," she said, blowing air through her nose in what I was assuming was a laugh.

We were quiet for a moment, her staring down at her hands and me staring at her.

"Hey, Harry. I know this may be kind of odd and you don't have to say yes, but like, you remember my friend Olivia?" She said nervously, she had started playing with her fingers and I resisted the urge to grab them with my own hands just to get her to stop.

"The one that dragged you to that party at Liam's place, yeah?"

"Right. She wants me to come with her to another party Monday . She's brining someone and I don't want to be an awkward third wheel. So, like- would you wanna maybe- if you wanted to- could you like come with me? Please."

"Sure. What time?" I wondered, picking at a loose thread on my jeans. The only reason I agreed was because I was sure that there would be alcohol. And okay, maybe I wanted to spend more time with Lily. She wasn't as bad as I thought.

"Really you'll do it?" She beamed. That fucking smile was back.

"What time?" I demanded again. "I'll pick you up."

"Nine, you can invite anyone you want. It's not like an organized thing. Thank you so much, Harry!" She threw her arms around my neck and I froze. She froze as well, but before she could pull away I wrapped my arms around her waist, shocking us both.