bravery.

Chapter 6

I wake up the next morning slightly confused about whose chest my head is resting on. I lift myself up and my heart flutters when I see Harry's beautiful sleeping face under me. My hands move up to my head to make sure my beanie is there.

Oh.

Oh no.

My eyes widen and I begin to frantically search around the bed, simultaneously waking Harry.

"Babe-" his raspy voice says. "What are you-"

"My hat. My hat is gone. Where's my hat?"

"Okay, calm down, we'll find it." He sits up and rubs his eyes as I continue to search frantically. "Louis. Stop for a second." I do as he says and look up at him, breathing heavily. "When's the last time you had it?"

"When I went to bed last night! Harry, you don't understand, I cannot lose that hat-"

"We're going to find it. It can't have gone far! Maybe you sleep walked?"

"I have never once sleep walked in my life, why would I suddenly sleep walk?!" I feel myself getting snappish but I'm too worried to care.

"Hey- I'm trying to help you."

"Sorry..."

"Let's just strip the bed and see if it's in there somewhere."

"Okay." I breathe and we both climb off the bed. We pull off the comforter, sheets, pillows, everything. No sign of it. "Maybe it's behind the bed?" I ask desperately, trying not to have a panic attack. Harry probably thinks I'm so stupid for caring about a hat so much, but he doesn't know the story.

"Maybe." He says, and pulls the bed from against the wall. We search around it, under it, even under the mattress. It's nowhere.

"What am I going to do??" I can feel the lump starting in my throat and my stomach hurts. If I lose this hat- I don't even want to think about it. It's all I have left of my dad, the only person in my life that I really had a bond with. A real, genuine bond.

"Louis. Baby. Calm down." He places his hands on my cheeks and lifts my head to look at him. "It's just a beanie."

"No, it's not." I whisper.

"Why is it so special to you?" he asks, searching my face, his eyes soft.

"It- my dad got it for me. He died on my 11th birthday after getting in an accident on the way to my party. He was in fatal condition in the hospital but he refused to let go til I got there- god, I hate telling this story-" my voice cracks. Harry says nothing but sits down and pulls me onto his lap. "And- when I got to the hospital, he gave me the beanie. It was my present. And then he said he loved me and let go. I watched him die, and that's the only thing I have left of him. The only person who truly loved me." I choke.

"I- I had no idea-" says Harry, and I see tears sparkling in his green eyes. "Im so sorry." He whispers. "I'm sorry for all time times I took it from you. I'm sorry for the time I put it in the toilet. I'm sorry I always made fun of you for it. I'm so, so, sorry."

I take as deep of a breathe as I can manage, holding in the tears still wanting to slip out. "It's alright. You didn't know."

"I'm going to find that beanie if it's the last thing I do." He nods and kisses away the tear that's slipping down my cheek. "Okay?"

"Okay." I say. "Thank you."

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you." I say back, and he presses his lips gently to mine.

"Good." He smiles softly as we pull back. "Now let's find that beanie."

I smile softly and lower myself from his lap. "We don't have to find it now. Let's go get breakfast and then maybe it will show up."

"Okay, babe." He grins and we head downstairs.

"Oh, good morning boys!" Beams Anne as we walk into the kitchen.

"Morning." Says Harry blandly.

"Would you like some coffee?" she smiles and looks from me to Harry.

"I would love some." I smile back at her.

"No thanks." Says Harry, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the kitchen table. He grabs me by my hips and pulls me onto his knee, surprising me slightly.

"Here you are, Louis." Says Anne, then turns around to hand me my coffee. "Well, aren't you two cute!" she grins as I take the coffee from her. "Finally settling down to just one, Harry?"

He rolls his eyes. "Yes, I am settling down to just one, mother."

"Well good! Good choice!" she flicks a strand of her black hair out of her face and goes back to whatever she's frying.

"Have you by chance seen his hat?" Asks Harry, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"No, I haven't. But I did notice you aren't wearing it today, Louis."

"Yeah, I've misplaced it." I say and press my lips together.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find it." She smiles. "Would you boys like anything to eat?"

"No thank you." I smile.

"Harry?"

"No thanks, mum."

"You're acting rather nice to me this morning."

Hmm. If this is Harry being nice to his mother I wouldn't like to see Harry being mean to his mother. He hasn't made eye contact with her the whole time and his answers are always sarcastic or bland.

"Mm." He replies and I turn to look at him. "What?" he says to me.

"Nothing.." I say, and he presses a kiss to my cheek. I have never met someone who could go from snapping at me to kissing me in half a second.

"So, you all start school in a week! Seniors!! Are you excited?" She asks, turning and smiling at us.

"I am, actually." I smile.

"Eh." Harry says. "I'm excited it's the last year." He groans.

"Enjoy it, though! Don't wish time away." Anne smiles and places two plates down in front of us. I attempt to lower myself from Harry's knee but he pulls back to him. I give him a fake glare and grab my fork, taking a bite.

We finish eating and I thank Anne, like I do probably 20 times a day, and then we head back upstairs to Harry's room.

"So-" I say once I'm sat on his bed. "How's this going to work at school?"

"What do you mean?" He sits down next to me.

"You and I. Are you going to keep us a secret? Your friends hate me so- how's it gonna work?"

"I- haven't really thought about that. Do you want to stay secret?"

"Of course I don't, but if you do, I mean- I guess that's okay."

"I want to do what makes you happy."

"Then tell your friends about me. Us, I mean."

"Louis, I don't know if-" he pauses. "Okay. I will."

"Good." I smiles, and peck his lips.