Secrets | g.d.

Frustrations

*Grayson's Point Of View*

I wake up feeling like a truck had hit me in my sleep. I turn towards the sunlight that's pouring in through the windows of the living room and I squint against the overbearing brightness. I lean up and rub my face with my hand, smacking my lips together, thirsty for some water.

I stand up slowly, still in yesterday's clothing.

Feeling totally defeated.

I look at the clock on the microwave as I enter the kitchen. 7:33 A.M.

The nanny is supposed to be here at eight.

I breathe in so slowly, trying to collect my thoughts that seem to be spinning in every which direction.

I walk to the sink and turn it on, putting my hand under the stream of tap water, scooping it up to my mouth as I take a drink of it. I then splash water in my face.

And then again, more aggressively.

I frustratingly take a towel and wipe my face off, trying to cool down. But I feel every part of my body burning. I'm angry.

I turn and walk towards the stairs. I pass our bedroom once I reach the top, and I see Amber pulling on pantyhose, getting ready for work. I stop for a moment and stare. My wife... I've been cheating on her.

And she's been, possibly, cheating on me.

With my brother.

I feel my chest tighten, looking away as I continue to walk towards William's room. I enter quietly, as he's still sleeping. I walk to his crib and look down onto him as he dreams away. He's perfect. If there's one thing that's perfect in my life, it's my kids.

I reach my hand out and gently rub his hair from his eyes, and he smiles in his sleep. Which makes me smile.

"You going to work today?" I hear behind me. I turn and face Amber, who has Josh in her arms on her hip. She looks completely pissed. I stare at her for a moment, trying to find the right words to speak back with.

Do I act angry back? Do I fake it? Are they actually seeing each other? Is she on to me? This is all so fucked.

But I muster up a fake smile and say, "I sure am." Josh then reaches his arms out towards me and without hesitation I walk and take him in my arms from Amber. She slightly rolls her eyes, making my blood slightly boil.

I kiss Josh all over his face as he giggles and I lift him in the air above and make him giggle some more. I then pull him to my chest as I turn to look at Amber one last time, as she stands there, arms crossed... the look of sadness spread across her face.

She lingers for a moment more before walking out of the door way. I try to remain calm. I just hug Josh tighter.

I carry both William and Josh downstairs and get them in their high chairs for breakfast. I check the clock and it's 7:55 A.M.

Amber is already gone. She didn't even say goodbye. So I get the boys some food, and as they eat and watch TV, I stare at the door at the end of the kitchen leading to the garage.

She will walk through it any minute now. I don't know how I'm going to act when she does.

I feel like pulling away from her. I'm cheating on my wife with her for God's sake. But the way she makes me feel. There are genuine feelings I really have for this girl. Feelings I can't fathom to have for Amber... and I hate to admit that to myself. But she... makes me feel like myself.

It's odd. It's wrong.

I have to end it.

The door handle starts to move... and my heart sky rockets to about 150 beats per minute in under a minute. She enters slowly, saying a sweet little "hi," as she walks in.

The boys get excited and start clapping and she smiles so wide. "I missed you guys!" She squeals, as she puts her purse down on a chair. She's wearing high waisted jeans and a striped crop top. Her hair is in a braid to the side and she...

Looks beautiful.

She looks at me, her smile turning more genuine as her eyes stare into mine. But soon, it fades. It must be the look on my face.

Her eyes brows furrow together. She mouths "Are you okay?"

I feel tears. Real tears gathering behind my eyes and I look down at the ground. She walks towards me. The kids are yelling for her, making her look behind me and I look back towards her. "Grayson..." she says, trying to get me to say something.

"I have to go to work." I say, standing up.

"Wait! What's wrong? I can tell something's wrong." She says in almost a panic. But I walk towards William and Josh and kiss them both on the forehead and grab my jacket from the couch. I walk past her, her looking completely shocked that I'm acting so cold. I grab my keys and head for the door.

"I'll see you guys later."

*Your Point Of View*

He closes the door... and it's like all the warmth from the room exists with him.

I stand there, my body buzzing with anxiousness. I feel like I did something wrong...

What did I do?

Josh yells for me again and I breathe in quickly through my nose, holding back any worry. I turn with a smile and walk towards him.

That's all I can do right now.

That's all I can do... is wait for him to tell me. I hope he does...

*Grayson's Point Of View*

It's 5 P.M. and i walk out of work, feeling still in a daze of anger. I pull out my phone and I have three texts from the nanny...

9:31 A.M.
"Grayson... talk to me?? U ok?"

1:12 P.M.
"Please. I'm here for you..."

4:54 P.M.
"Amber is home. I guess I'll leave. Call me or something please..."

I exit out of my messages and go to my contacts. I scroll and stop on Amber's name. I pause and frown. I then zoom past and stop on Ethan's name. I pause again.

I click his contact and hesitate.

I press call.

"Gray?"

"Hey. We need to meet up. Now."

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HI IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. Let me explain pls :,)

So I have had a lot going on! I got back with my ex recently (we are happy hehe), published my first novel, and I've been working my new job for a while. My life has been so busy but I want to finish this story. There's so much more to be released. It's not ending quite yet. Thank you for the love and patience. I can't believe y'all love my writing this much. Ily ily ily!!!!! More soon I promise!!!!!!