kelsey
just like any other day i got up for school in a rush not to be late. im honestly sleep deprived from all of the nights i stay up overthinking my loneliness, guilt, and pain, which makes it even harder for me to wake up every morning.
i put on the usual, black hoodie and black sweatpants look that i basically wear every single day of my life. not because im goth or emo or anything, because of the bruises. i used to try to cover them up with makeup so that i could wear what i wanted but at this point there are just too many for me to sit there in the morning and cover every single one.
i looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted at my appearance and attempted to cover up the huge bruise i got from the punch in the face yesterday.
i had walked over to the fridge and poured two waters for my dad and i for dinner when he slammed his hand down on the table, causing me to shake and drop a cup. he yelled and screamed until i was crying and looked deep into my eyes, "youre such a mistake!" he bellowed through our petite kitchen. "your mother only left because of you, you worthless piece of shit!" then he spit on my face. "go pour me a water and go back up to your room."
"w-what about dinner?" i questioned even though i knew i shouldnt have because right after he decked me in the face, causing me to fall back onto the floor. now i knew i wasnt eating tonight.
when i was younger i used to think things would get better but they never did, they just got worse actually. my mom got abused too but she never left my dad because she was afraid. one night we both got beat up really bad, honestly i dont even rememeber for what and i yelled at my mom for staying with him. i remember it like it was yesterday.
"mom we cant live like this forever! its unfair for the both of us, we dont deserve this, you have to leave him!" i sobbed.
"kelsey you know i cant do that." she shivered with fear and it made my heart rattle in pain.
"shows how much you care." i scoffed. i was angry. im not one to be obsessed with myself but i knew i didnt deserve the life i was living.
long story short, the next morning i got beat again because low and behold, my mom took my advice and did leave my father, but the only thing was that she forgot about me.
"kelsey!" my dad yelled, "get to school now!"
i quickly slipped my shoes on and ran down the stairs, grabbing my backpack, "i said to leave now." the monster approached me.
"sorry sir, i wont let it happen again." i said nervously and ran out the door, basically scurrying to the bus stop. i stood there bored for a couple minutes, listening to the only thing that made me sane, music. i have a phone but its set up so that i cannot call or text anyone but my dad, not even the police, so really my life consists of homework and sleep. i have no friends either, everyone thinks im creepy but really ive just never been loved by anyone so i dont know how to love anyone else.
