Urges #2

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Blake

Ella sat on my living room couch tense. She wasn't looking at me, but I could tell she was struggling not to. Instead, she was glancing around the wall, trying to act as if she was studying them, but I knew she just needed a distraction.

"Ella," I murmur softly. She doesn't look at me when she ends up speaking.

"What?" I hear her croak. I bite the inside of my cheek so I don't ramble on about how stupid and sorry I am for cheating on her. I knew she would just tell me to shut up.

"I know sorry isn't enough, and that's alright. You deserve far more than a petty sorry. Though I was drunk out of my mind, I have no excuse for sleeping with her. Honestly, she was just a distraction."

"A distraction from what?" She hisses.

"From you."

"What do you mean?" She's looking at me now.

"I was falling for you. Too quickly. I'm bad news, Ella. Look at my life, think about how many times I've hurt you... When Emma told me you were in love with me.. I just got this cold feeling. I wanted to make you see that I am bad and I couldn't possibly be good enough for you. You deserve the world Ella. The only way to make you realize you do was to make you see how terrible I am."

I take a deep breath, not looking at her. Her silence was more painful than I could imagine.

Why? Why was I so fucking stupid? Ella was good and so sweet. I completely fucked up.

"Why would you do that?" Her soft voice fills the room suddenly and I jump in surprise.

"I didn't know what else to do." I respond lamely. And that was the truth. What would make Ella see I'm bad more than sleeping with Tasha? Nothing.

I hear her sigh.

Ella

After he told me all that, I felt bad. I almost wanted to forgive him and just tell him that everything would be okay. But he hurt me and I wasn't so sure he wouldn't do it again.

"You should have told me." I say gently, staring at his handsome face. He has looking at the floor and his cheeks were pale. He looked exhausted. I frowned.

"I know." He whispers.

Sighing, I walk over towards him and sit next to him. He gives me a wary look and I give him a sad smile.

"I understand why you did it. I don't forgive you and I don't know how long it will take me to forgive you..." I trail off, wondering if what I am about to say was the smartest decision.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't want you too." He says quickly.

I frown. "What?" Why wouldn't he want me to forgive him?

"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I want to suffer and feel the pain just like I caused you when I slept with her."

I couldn't help but just stare at him. Was this man crazy? No matter how bad he hurt me, I still loved him.

"Blake--" I begin, but he shakes his head.

"Don't." He chokes. "I want to feel it."

My eyebrows furrow and I scoot closer to him so I can cup his face in my hands. I force him to look at me.

"Listen to me... No matter how bad you hurt me, you don't deserve to torture yourself. It'll only make you feel worse and it will make you miserable." I say gently, smoothing out the hard lines on his flawless face.

He closes his eyes and doesn't reply. Slowly, I lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth.

"I love you Blake, and I'm willing to work on this. On us. If you want too..."I say.

Suddenly I'm pulled in a tight hug and Blake burry's his face in my neck. "Yes." He whispers.

I smile and rub his back. I loved him too much to let him go.

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Short but I promise to update sooner! I hope you all enjoy and don't forget to comment and vote! (: