All I Ever Do Is Run

Chapter 1

Evan's POV

i take a shaky deep breath as i hesitantly walk down the hallway of the school that i've been going to for the past 4 years. i somehow made it to the last year of high school without dying from a severe anxiety attack. i consider that a impressive achievement considering that i'm, i mean come on, the loser that's obsessed with trees and is weird for having a mental disorder. so yeah i don't really have the best rep but i know for sure that it could be worse. even if i tried to change my reputation i would somehow screw up and make it even worse for myself, and that's definitely not how i want to endure my last year of high school.

i start to pull at the hem of my blue striped polo, an old habit that drives my mom insane but i'm sorry i can't really help it. it distracts me- well no it really just sorta makes it easier for my mind to relax a bit- but like it helps any. no matter what i do my mind is always on full on panic mode, jumping at the littlest of things. but oh well... it's not going to get any better.

as i walk down the hallway, i make no eye contact, content to staring at my monotone feet as i walk to my locker.

oh that's another topic; soulmates. i've always wanted one, but i knew that i could never manage to find mine. in order to find your soulmate you have to manage to touch them physically and well... yeah i don't really want to go around trying to touch people trying to find my soulmate. so many things that can go wrong!!! i mean you end up looking really awkward then the person is really confused looking around trying to find the person that touched them and then you're just aw-awkwardly st-standing there...a-and i'msorryilljustbequietnowimsoweirdilljustgo... oh wait...this is all in my head, i-im sorry... anyways as i was saying; yeah i've just gotten used to not seeing colors that people who have found their soulmates say are so beautiful... and i'm totally fine with that. i mean who could ever manage to like me, im just a mess that's riddled with anxiety.

i realize that i've just been standing at my locker staring at the lock in the middle of the hallway. i blush deep red and start to fiddle with the lock. as a fiddle with the lock some more i feel a hand land on my shoulder and pain radiate from where it lays. yep, th-that's definitely going to bruise with how easily i do bruise. i turn around and see jared kleinman looking right at me so i immediately turn right back around to my locker. lucky for me, today he actually is too "busy" for my antics so he soon leaves. i find myself letting out a breath i didnt realize i was holding.

my breathing doesn't calm however when i hear shouting at the end of the hallway. my breathing instead picks up its pace and i can hear the blood pumping in my ears. I hear the shouting getting louder and louder and i feel myself getting shoved against my locker. i slowly sink to the ground as my breathing gets even more ragged and my vision gets blurry from the unshed tears in my eyes.

i feel myself get kicked in the shins and soon i hear the distant sound of the bell ringing and the abuse stops. but i dont get up when it stops. i remain there on the ground silently shaking from my sobs. i quickly pick myself up soon after though and run to the bathroom down the hall.

i find myself hesitate at the door of the bathroom, i realize that the door is a dark...blue? is that blue? then i looks around and see colors everywhere! oh no... this can't be happening, not right now at least. this is not how it was supposed to be! i was supposed to be in my monotone world fine in my colorless life. i shake my head quickly in an attempt to clear my head which didn't do any good as i open the door to the bathroom.

as the bathroom door slowly closes, i swear i could feel eyes prickling at my retreating back.