Octopus Lips

Sweet Honey

     Nothing has ever made as much sense as this does. The revelation that Rosalie is my other half is like dust settling after an earthquake. It was like an immense weight had been taken off my shoulders, like I had been given rose-scented wings and was ascending into a sky painted pink, red and pale orange, Rosie's favorite colors. Her sunrise, made for me.

     I walked numbly into the kitchen, string still tailing behind me. I'm only watching my hands move by themselves as I make a cup of mostly dark coffee. It's for me, Rosie likes tea. She likes the sound of hustle bustle in the city and licking sugar off her finger tips. She likes cupcakes with the frosting shaped like different flowers, the kind of flowers we don't have in Minnesota. Rosalie Jenkins is sticks of sweet local honey in the farmers' market and handpicked strawberries in the summer. I stuck a mug of hot water in the microwave for her tea and then lean back against the counter and drummed my fingers tips against the cool marble. I know her better than I know myself... and I've never been more okay with that.

     I can feel myself start to cry.

     "Gwen?"

     Rosie was standing in the frame of the room, one hand gracing the wall nervously and the other hovering, in the middle of reaching out towards me. Her eyes are soft and large, filled instantly with a million calculations on what was wrong and how to fix it. I wipe my eyes and sniff, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.  I am not Chase Lisa, I unfortunately have working tear ducts.

    "I'm okay." I smiled unconvincingly, then offered up the mug of brewing liquid. "I started to make you some tea."

     "Oh, Gwen." Her face softened and she took the cup. "What's wrong?"

    "I think... I'm finally done with him."

     Her eyebrows flew up, and I could feel the mood of the air between us shift for the better. Was she... hopeful? I was hopeful. My string was back and I was ready to move on from Gordon. I think we were both ready to leave our past behind us. Rosie eyes fluttered and I could have sworn she blushed... was that to hopeful? It's very possible I was just extremely attracted to her in this moment. Oh boy, I was crushing hard. I wondered if that had always been there.

     "Yeah?" She asked, smiling. "This is great! I've been... ah, worried about you."

     "I would have been worried about me too." I admitted. "But I'm actually okay?"

     "Do you feel good?" She tapped her chest. "In here?"

     "Yeah," I agreed.

     She grinned from ear to ear, and my heart skipped a beat. Then she threw her arms around me and squeezed me tight. My arms hung in space awkwardly for a few moments before I hugged her back. She smelled like flowers, always, amazingly. I picked her up and swung her around. Rosie laughed and put her down.

     "Let's go do something today!" I said happily, wiping the tears from my eyes.

     "Yeah? You're feeling up to it?"

     "I do think so!" I grabbed on of her hands and twirled her.

     She spun back towards me and didn't let go on my hand. "You're really doing better!"

     "Yes!" I smiled with her.

     "Alright. What do you want to do?"

     "Didn't the roller rink just reopen? We could grab breakfast and go skate, then walk around the shopping center for as long as you want."

     Her grin turned lopsided, just like it used to when we were kids. "We haven't been there in years."

    "It's about time we went back." I reached for my favorite yellow jacket. "C'mon let's go find our skates."

   It's a fact that Rosie can't skate. I can, and she's said multiple times how she likes it when I invite her over to the park I go to on weekends sometimes because she likes watching me do tricks on my skateboard. She likes going with me to the roller rink because I'm the only one of our friend group who will hold her hand the whole time to make sure she doesn't fall over. I don't mind, even less now as we tie up our roller-skates and she grabs onto my arm, already slipping and sliding on the retro patterned carpet. There's a DJ playing songs per request, the lights are dimmed and there's lazy rainbow lights (appropriate) slithering across the oval shaped floor with people racing by.

     "You having fun?" I asked her after a few minutes of going around in circles, she's got a distant look in her eyes.

     "Oh yeah." Rosie assured. "I'm just... thinking about how things are different now."

    "Different?"

    "Yeah... remember when it was just the two of us? You'd come over to my house and we'd wrap sheets around ourselves and pretend to be princesses, then watch barbie movies on DVD and make popcorn."

     "We were the only kingdom in the country with two queens." I smiled at her.

     "Yeah, I miss being young."

     "We're still young."

     "I mean yes. I miss not having to worry about homework, getting a job, driving, or my parents." She sighed. "Sorry, I'm being a buzzkill."

     "No... I miss those days too. I don't think that it means we can't still do those things. We can still be princesses."

     She smiled thinly. "You think so?"

    "Of course! I'll do my best to try and stay the same." I promised. "Things don't have to change if you don't want them too."

     "Gwen Degray?" She glanced at me.

     "Yeah?"

     "Never stop changing." Rosie said confidently.

     I frowned. "I thought you just said you missed the old days."

     "I missed hanging out with you like this. It's been so long. Johnny's obnoxious, Chase is cold, Ramon's okay but he's always with Johnny."

     "Wait... what does that mean?" I asked her.

     Rosalie hesitated, and I caught a glimmer of something in her eyes. Maybe flecks of gold, maybe a trick of the light, maybe magic. I wonder if she knows I'm on the other end of her strings. I wonder what she meant when she said her soulmate was way too good for her. I have so many questions and none of the courage to answer them. I can only hold her flower-scented hand and be here with here because lately I neglected to do even that. I'm here now Rosalie, talk to me baby.

     "I don't miss the old Gwen." She said, her eyes shining. "I miss you."