I groaned and rolled over. My head was pounding and even worse, there was someone breathing in my face. I slowly opened my eyes hoping it was gonna be a dog. or a turtle. or a fucking hamster. To my surprise it wasn't a hamster, though In the back of my mind I knew it wasn't a hamster, it was Jake. At that point i wanted to throw up.
"Jake," I said poking the side of his face. He slowly opens his eyes as I did. He looks over and sees me looking at him.
"Oh shit," he rubbed his eyes and tried to comprehend the situation. "Did we..." he left the end open for me to answer.
"I think so," I say referring to our naked bodies laying next to each other. "If not then we must of had a naked sleep over." He laughed and rubbed his head. I wanted so badly to kiss him. I wanted to lean forward and peck his lips, then we would just lay down and cuddle and he would kiss my head and we would just lay there all day. But instead we would take turns finding our clothes, go our separate ways, and never speak of this again.
"I'm sorry," he says and he pushes a stray hair out of his face.
"Don't apologize, I'm sure I was just so irresistible that you just had to have a taste," part of me knew I should be happy that I had sex with the man I've been drooling over for the past few years. But the other part of me knew it meant nothing and it was a mistake. If he was sober this wouldn't have happened, and that hurts. More than anything. Knowing that you're not good enough to be someone's first choice. I could've just broke down and cried right then, but all of me knew that I couldn't do that. I needed to keep up the bad girl who doesn't give a fuck persona.
"We should...uh, probably look for our clothes," he said motioning to my bra that was at the foot of the bed. My cheeks turned a bright red color as I leaned forward and snatched it.
We scrambled around my room for a while before we were both fully clothed. My head was pounding and the room was spinning. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands.
"I'm never drinking again," I mumble into my hands.
"That's a lie," Jake says sitting next to me. I shoot him and look and he scoots away from me. I got up and motioned towards the closed door.
"I'm gonna go make Ashley think I'm sick and not hungover," I say walking closer to the door, "Wait a few minutes then leave."
"O-Okay..."I slipped out into the hallway and sighed. I couldn't be in that room anymore. I couldn't stand to think what if. What if we weren't drunk? I put my head in my hands and walked towards Ashley's room. I didn't bother to knock, I just walked right in. She sat on her bed (still in her pajamas) with her laptop in her lap. She was probably scrolling through tumblr.
"Ashley, I think I'm sick," I said and I collapsed on her bed. She pushed her laptop to the side and jumped up. She pushed me into her bed and pulled the covers over me without saying a word.
"I'll make you some soup," She exited the room and left me alone in her room. I looked over at her laptop and my suspicions were correct...she was scrolling through tumblr. She was looking at her tag. I pulled the laptop closer to me, the light made me squint. I scrolled through many posts about Ashley. People are saying some amazing things about her, it made me feel all warm inside. But then there are people who don't say nice things, it doesn't bother me because I know it doesn't bother Ashley. Soon, Ashley comes back with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I smile and take the warm bowl from her.
"Thank you," She slides into her bed next to me. As she sits there talking to me about her fans and the amazing people of tumblr, I try to recollect everything that happened last night. I remember spilling my drink on him, and leading him upstairs, but everything after that is kind of a blur. Ashley read me things and I half listened. I laid it bed with her all day, I didn't have the heart to leave and have to face him. I had to bottle this up like everything else. I can't risk anyone finding out. Or Jake finding out I have feelings for him.
