𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗻

eleven ・゜゜・.

after months of thinking about everything, it all slowly began to make itself to the end of the puzzle.

it was as if me and phil grew even closer since that night i promised him i was going to tell everything to him.

but endless nights until three in the morning, really helped my way to realizing that i really fucking loved phil lester.

and it began to come to the part where my anxiety would calm down, my thoughts of phil leaving me, turned into, 'at least he'll leave with knowing.'

the time of telling phil was growing closer. i just needed the right moment.

-

"phil?"
"ah! a rat!" phil screamed in shock.
"oh ha, ha, you fucking spoon."

phil giggled like a ray of sunshine he is, "what is it?"
"count to ten." i smiled.

phil just raised an eyebrow before closing his eyes and counting downwards from ten.

"up to ten you-"

phil's giggles interrupted me and he continued in the correct way.

i pulled out his hands and placed two tickets to japan. that is where i was going to tell him everything.

"10! I certainly felt something fall upon-" he looked down at his hands and grasped onto the plane tickets.

"you what?! you seriously- dan! you know i've been wanting to go- oh my god-" phil squealed and threw his arms around me, repeating 'thank you' over and over.

he began to rock me about in excitement.

"thank you so much!" phil pulled back, "i could just-" he paused and pressed his lips on my cheeks before rushing off into his room.

i placed a hand on the place where phil's lips pressed against my skin.

they were so soft, just as like i imagined.
if only i could've tasted them-

i shook my head and got up to head to my own room.

-

it was the day to japan:

the long flight was giving me anxiety, let alone 'telling phil everything' thing.

"c'mon dan! we're going to be late!" phil's voice filled with excitement.

"i'm coming-" i took another glance at my room for anything i could possibly leave behind, i nodded and exited my room, almost tripping over as i ruffled my hair more as well as multitasking at dragging a suitcase.

-

phil took a sigh of content as he flopped onto the double bed. but the got up and looked around the room, his eyebrows furrowed.

"what's up?" i question, but then un-furrow my eyebrows as i realize that there's only one bed, "oh, fuck. i'm so sorry, they must've given us the wrong room or i booked the wrong one-"

it was true, i hadn't planned this.

"it's fine, i'm fine with sleeping with you- "
"i can sleep on the couch if you're going to be more comfortable with that-"
"danny. it's fine. if you're really that uncomfortable with sleeping next to me then i'll sleep on the couch."

"n-no! i-i was not saying that-"
"then it's settled. we'll sleep together." phil nodded before flinging his legs off the bed, and almost tripping himself over as he headed to get his laptop.

-

i feel warmth travel across my cheeks as i crawl onto the bed next to phil as he settles his body down, rolling on one side.

while i, stay tense and stare at the ceiling, sprinting to a none-given finish line of thoughts again.

"danny?"

my cheeks flush more as the image almost comes to life, i tense up more.

i gulp, "yeah?"

"why are- why are you awake still?"
"w-why? what time is it?" i question, almost shocked.
"midnight."
"ah.."

"what's up?" phil's husky voice rolls through my brain as he changes position to face me completely.
"just thoughts."
"the same ones?"

i nod in the darkness, but realize phil can't see me, so i speak, "y-yeah. i swear- i'm going to tell you phil, i-"

i feel an arm wrap around my chest, a body colliding against my shirtless torso. my cheeks flush once more, ten times redder.

phil's head nuzzles into my chest as his own chest lifts up to let out a sigh of what seems, content.

"you don't have to."
"i want to." i say immediately, maybe too soon.
"then- take your time. rat."

we share a laugh before i bring phil closer into my chest, not flinching one bit, as if he trusts me with his body.

i smile and happily rest my eyes shut as phil's mutters something. but i don't hear, but all i feel is phil's head nuzzle into my chest again after he presses a kiss onto my forehead.