Falling Fast

Chapter 4 - I can be manly

I walked quickly though the corridors, Dan following a couple of steps behind. I needed air and I needed it quickly. God, I’d been stupid to think I could do this. I should have remembered before now how slow I used to be, how difficult I found reading and writing. Maybe I should have picked a language with the same alphabet, but no. Oh no. I’d been ambitious, too ambitious, and chose Russian.

As soon as we got outside I slowed down and took huge deep breaths and wiped my face with a shaking hand.

“Zo, what the – What’s up?” Dan asked and put a hand on my arm.  

“Spelling, Dan. Spelling is what’s up,” I said hoarsely.

“It’s only – Oh,” he said. “Yeah, that could be a problem.” He stuffed one hand in his pocket and I thought it was going to stay there, a sure sign of ‘christ I have no idea what to do’, but he pulled out the car keys.

We got in and sat in a tense, awkward silence for a few minutes as Dan drove home. I stared out the window trying to tell myself I could get over this spelling thing by Wednesday, but it wasn’t working all that well. I just kept remembering how stupid I felt when I was little and not able to spell or write and having to have one to one lessons and help in all classes just so I could get the work done.

I didn’t want to be like that again. I’d hated it when I was a kid and had worked damn hard to catch up with everyone. People had called me disabled and pitied me. Even back then I’d hated it. Harriet really hadn’t helped. And now she was in that class too and…

“You should probably tell him if you’re struggling that much,” Dan carefully said.

“And have him treat me like an idiot?” I asked.

Dan sighed and tapped on something for a moment and then Grigory’s voice rumbled through the car.

“Today we will be learning basic conversation… Phatic language I believe you call it. We will talk about the weather, clothes and the home…”

My eyes snapped around to where the recording was coming from. Dan was holding my phone and it was showing a saved recording, the one that was playing right now.

“I thought it might help,” Dan shrugged.

Ever since we were little I’d known he had my back. I’d always assumed that meant if he had to beat the crap out of someone for bullying me he would. That was what boys did. Never had I thought he had this level of subtlety or… well, sensitivity.

“It might, yeah,” I said with a small smile. “Thank you.”

“I got your back, Zoey… And when Harriet gives you shit, I got it. Ok?” he said with determination. He knew that I wanted to argue and say that I didn’t need him to protect me. It was sweet and all and I did feel a lot safer, but I wasn’t a little girl anymore. He knew exactly what I was thinking, and I knew he wouldn’t budge.

“Ok,” I said with a sigh. “Thanks. But I can look after myself you know.”

He nodded. “I know.”

Needing to think about something else I took my phone from him and stopped the recording from playing and turned the conversation to something lighter. “So what do your minions think to you wearing glasses?”

“Minions?” he asked lightly. “Don’t you think that’s an insult?”  

I nodded. “Yeah. Gru and Nefario would never have created something as awful as your band of floozy sheep. And Kevin is way cooler than any of them.”

He laughed and tipped his head back against the rest. “I’m actually thinking about keeping them,” he said even as he pushed them up his nose. They were the big kind with the chunky rims and completely suited him.