Fresh From The Oven Book Reviews ~Closed For Catch-Up~

The Faye Inside Me

My phone is about to die and I likely won't be able to charge it for a while so I am uploading your review now. I am trusting you to complete the payment by tomorrow, preferably today, so please don't make me regret that decision.

Before I start, I probably should've mentioned this in the introduction chapters but I just decided to add this to the review: In addition to rating and discussing each of the aspects I laid out earlier, I will also be doing an in-depth review of the first half of the requested chapters and an overview of the second half. This is will be applied for all future reviews including this one.

Disclaimer: Believe it or not, the main purpose of this review book is to help you become a better writer. I may come off as harsh- oh who am I kidding, I will come off as harsh, but just know this is all for your benefit and don't take it personally. I'm actually a relatively nice person, occasionally, and will gladly accept any and all questions you have concerning your review. Now let's yeet on over to the review.

Title: The Faye Inside Me

Author: @IrishAssassyn

Cover/Summary: I'm currently having technical difficulties but I'll update this with them as soon as possible.

On Point Title: 3/5
Your title was okay. It's interesting enough, but not something super enticing. Also, isn't "Faye" supposed to be spelled as "Fae"?

Lit Cover: 2/5
I liked the thin designs behind the girl, since the sort of neon-ish light glow they gave off was nice. But the silhouette of girl covering them doesn't make it stand out, which is a shame since they were the best part. Your cover is kinda dark and doesn't stand out. It's not something I'd see and want to check out.

Bomb SPAG: 8/15
Eesh. This was your weakest spot. You have way too many fragmented sentences and some run-ons. A lot of times I had to go back and re-read something more than once to understand it. Your wording is confusing and you place commas where they're not needed, but also don't put them where they need to be. One instance is in dialogue when you refer to someone. You have to have commas around the name in dialogue. For example, it should look like this: "How are you doing today, Allison?"

Another thing is the times when your characters have thoughts. Whenever your character thinks something, it has to be in italics. There are also instances of capitalization in the middle of sentences and other places where it should be lowercased. There are also many misspellings. I recommend an editor and the app Grammarly, which is free.

Fire Plot: 13/20
Your plot is actually quite intriguing, or at least, what I gleaned through the confusing sentences and plot holes. The Council that Nova seems to have a connection to is interesting, but the problem is I don't understand why. Nova's discovery of the magical aspect of her world is interesting, but I don't understand how she found out. The auction that Nova ended up at is interesting, but I don't understand how it works with the kidnappers and what happens to creatures that are auctioned off. You have so many interesting aspects in your story, but the plot holes and inconsistencies make it hard to connect, to fully immerse in the story. That and your pacing is off. Sometimes is drags, but it mostly goes too fast, especially in the later chapters. I don't have time to think about the problem and the scene and to actually be eager about what was going to happen because one minute it's one scene she's telling the pair she's with to run, the next she's in an auction. A way to fix your pacing would be to add in more descriptions. It's already hard to visualize the scene we're reading, so if you add in imagery and more of Nova's thoughts instead of just her actions, it'll help smooth out the pacing.