cold | e.d

23

"Why did you put up a wall?"
"Sorry?"

"Why did you defend yourself from me, make me feel so lost about your feelings for all these months?"
"Because you made my blood boil and I couldn't control my thoughts. But it wasn't in a bad way. I wanted to impress you but keep you on your toes. So I could take my time to understand it myself."

I sighed and rubbed my head. "I can tell your tired, wouldn't want you to miss out on your beauty sleep." He kissed my head.

"You need it." He quickly rushed out with before jumping back from my hold.

"Excuse me?" I gasped and pounced on him. "I'm joking, I'm joking!" He put his hands up to stop me from choking him out.

"You're lucky I like you." I tutted. He just stuck his tongue out anyway, pulling himself under my covers. I could call him goofy but at the end of the day, he took the roll to look after me at one of the hardest times of my life.

He cared.

___

"Afternoon." He chuckled out to me with a husky voice. The room was still dim, as my blinds were closed.

I stretched out and sat there. I began playing with his hair randomly in the silence while he was doing something on his phone.

"What time is it?" I ask. "1." I nodded and threw the covers off of me. "What are you doing?" He asked me as I moved to my drawer. "Putting on one of your shirts." I showed him the grey top with a little top pocket and he just laughed.

"Did you take it out of my bag?"
"Nah, I stole it when I stayed at your house. Thanks baby." I kissed him on the cheek then pulled it on.

"You look good in it anyway, keep it." He grabbed hold of the fabric between his fingers before letting it go.

I smiled a little and frowned. He noticed and put a hand against my arm. "What's on your mind." 

"Wondering why my mom hasn't called or text me." My voice came out faintly. I ignored anything that happened after that, going straight to the stairs to get something to drink.

I heard Ethan follow me into the kitchen, his phone buzzing behind me.
I looked up and saw my mom sat at the island, a mug in her hand. She was staring into the marble, her eyes clouded over.

"Mom..?" I stepped towards her and she slowly looked up. She had deep red circles around her eyes that were still watery. My heart sank to my stomach. "What's wrong." My eyes were darting frantically on her.

"Mom, talk to me." I was about to grab her face when a single tear ran down her face, one of the most breaking things I had seen. 
Her face turned back down at the table.

"He's gone." 

It was barely a whisper, almost like a breath. I felt my jaw slowly fall, like all of the air inside of me had been ripped away.
My eyes were the first thing to take control, tearing up into floods of sorrow. Then it was the legs, buckling over like I lost all the power inside of me. 

But before I dropped, one of the only people I need right now caught me. I wanted to scream and lash out but I didn't; I couldn't. 
He lifted me up into his arms and I held on tight, my rash sobs vibrating through him.

It was over.

-

The day was a blur, a distance memory in my mind. Most of the things around me didn't really process, I didn't even feel present.

"Baby you don't have to be here. We can turn back." Ethan turned off the engine as we made it to school.
"I need a distraction. I don't want to think about yesterday."

"But it was only yesterday Kendra. You don't need to put yourself through this."
"As much as I love cuddling with you, it will help. Being in the house just forces reminders of him."
I removed my seat belt and took a deep breath before opening the door.

When Ethan lead us through the corridors, I could tell people were avoiding my gaze. There was no doubt in my mind as to why, I looked like a train wreck. 

Or maybe it was the fact that Ethan hadn't officiated anything with me publicly yet and he had me in his hold.

"We have math." He told me, stopping a bit outside of my classroom door.
"But you're not in my math." I said softly, pulling him in. Classmates were slowly walking in, stepping around us and looking at us in interest and confusion.

"I wish I was." He rubbed my hand in comfort but I still felt uneasy. "Then come in my class. I'm sure Mrs Taylor won't mind." 

"Hey! Dolan, Pearson. Contact." One of the other teachers was walking past, stopping besides us. I pulled away from him uneasily. 
"Pearson, you don't look so good, do you need to go see the nurse?" Mr Slater eyed me carefully before putting his hand on my arm cautiously.

"She's fine." Ethan interjected, stepping inbetween us. "I just need to be with her. Personal reasons. Sorry for keeping you here." He motioned to say he was free to go. 

"Uh.. okay. But Pearson if there is anything you need, come see me okay?" I nodded and he walked off.
"Nosy shit." Ethan cussed before tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I turned a little to my math door, where Mrs Taylor was looking out at me. "Kendra, are you coming? We're about to start." I hesitated and looked back at Ethan.

"Can Ethan please come in our class? I promise he's here to learn and he will behave."
"My lesson won't alter due to your relationship status Kendra."

I felt tears coming, I didn't want to alert school because they would put me in the isolation unit to keep me happy and I wouldn't get to be with Ethan so it would be useless. He made me happy.

"P-Please Miss." I begged quietly, looking down and wiping my eyes before anything fell. Her expression softened and a little sigh was let out before she nodded.

"Take the double at the back. Jack, move please." The boy got up and I briskly went to it, sitting down. Ethan grabbed my shaking hands under the table, his left taking the paper and starting.

__________

sorry for being so inactive, school n everything. 35 votes n comments for an update! <3