Just Wait » Boyf Riends

The World Is Stupid And So Am I

Which made the rest of the day all the more terrifying.

Because I know if things in my life are going a bit too radical, then something very unradical follows shortly after.

So now I was sitting on the couch, next to my mom, watching old re-runs of Peppa Pig when the thought occurred: 'Should I visit Jeremy today?"

I decided to make a Pro's and Cons list, hoping it'd help me.

PRO'S OF VISITING JEREMIAH HEERE:
•I'm in a very good mood, which means the amount of "uh..."s I murmur during different words will greatly decrease.
•Chloe gave me full Chloe Valentine permission to visit him, and that happens once every two blue moons, and who knows how long it'll last before the permission is revoked? I need to use it to my advantage before Chloe changes her mind.
•Chloe informed me that, because I visited him, Jeremy was all smiley the whole day and that made me giddy. It made my cheekbones hurt from smiling from just thinking about it, because I was actually achieving my goal! To make Jeremy smile! I'm actually doing it!
•This particular Peppa Pig episode sucks, and I'd much rather be talking to a jew with esophageal cancer than watch this abomination.

CONS OF VISITING JEREMIAH HEERE:
•There are several ways the visit could go wrong. I could accidentally be a dick again. I could accidentally say some stupid shit that makes him upset. I could accidentally force him into giving me his firstborn child. A lot could happen.
•As much as I love talking to Jeremy, the constant underlying feeling of: 'He's going to fucking die soon, hurry up, hurry up, you're running out of time, you need to—' is overwhelming.

  I only count two cons, but those two cons are pretty extreme, so maybe this isn't the best idea.

  Then again, the pro's are pretty extreme too...

  "Hey mom, when are you going to work?" I ask, my focus not on the Peppa Pig episode at all.

"Oh shit, I have work," She jumped up, "I mean shoot, no swearing until you're 45."

"Wait! Before you go, can I go visit Jeremy again today? Uh—Y'know, just to make sure."

She gives me a look, "Uhm... well, yeah! Of course. You're 17, you don't have to ask anymore," she pats my head, quickly tugging on her cardigan, "So, uh, you and Jeremy, huh?"

"We're friends."

She smiles, "Good to hear," she grabs her keys, "Well, hope you have fun, honey!"

"Uh, yeah—Bye," I hear the door slam, and there I was. Sitting on my couch, contemplating. I mean, maybe I shouldn't-

  Then Chloe's voice rings at the back of my mind: "You made Jeremy happy, okay?"

  Well, I guess considering Chloe's pretty snarky and pretty shit at being empathetic, and Mr. Heere is going through a midlife crisis and probably doesn't know what his son's favourite colour is, I feel as though it is my Responsibility™ to make sure Jeremy laughs at least one (1) time a day.

  In hindsight: Not the best decision, but hey. Hindsight helps no-one, now does it?

  So there I was, awkwardly walking back up to the Heere household, for the third time in the past three days. Is this creepy? I mean, is this gonna be an everyday thing? Am I gonna be known as the boy who visited the random kid with cancer everyday until he died?

No Michael. Bad Michael. Jeremy isn't going to die. He said he wouldn't.

I tensed up and suddenly this idea didn't seem as good as it did a few minutes ago. His house was in my view now and I could feel my breaths get shallow, which is something it never did.