Black

XXIV // The Reigning Lily Evans

"I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine," I say nonchalantly. (Nice word usage, Eva). "Tell me about your life, Marls." 

"Um, I feel like you're trying to change the sub-"

"Just tell me about your life, okay?" 

Marley looks concerned but proceeds to start talking about her life. Not, of course, that I can really concentrate on it. 

"Defence Against the Dark Arts, blah blah blah, Cassie, blah blah blah, Dumbledore blah blah blah."

Well, she said something like that, anyway. Probably wasn't very interesting. What is more interesting is this whole Remus situation. 

If he really does know how I felt about him then that poses at least one issue.

An Incomplete List of the Possible Consequences of One Remus J. Lupin Discovering One Evelyn K. O. Bishop's Previous Feelings Toward His Person

1. Our friendship will be ruined. Remus will be too embarrassed to ever talk to me again and so even though I have moved on and all he will forever see me as that girl who loved him.

2. Death. No need to explain this one as I feel it's fairly obvious.

3. Mortification so deep that I will have to become a nun and move to Guam. Yes, Guam. I hope they have nuns there. 

4. Potter and his gang would inevitably find out and tell the whole school. See point number 3. 

5. Puis-je répéter que la mort serait un problème?

6. Black would be able to talk about it openly and therefore probably make fun of me for the rest of my life. 

As you can see, there are clearly a lot of drastically bad issues that would come up if Remus were to know about my past feelings. Emphasis on past. See? Moved on. 

Speaking of moving on, Marley's beginning to look at me with a funny expression so I think it's best if I move on out of the Great Hall.

Ta ta, diary. 

Wednesday

December 17, 1977

Prefects' Meeting

I have successfully managed to avoid Remus over the past four days, much to most of my friends' dismay. I have discovered that the issue with avoiding Remus is that it means I have to avoid the rest of my friends, seeing as the four lads are joined at the hip, Lily and Potter will not stop snogging, and Lottie is of course wherever Lily is. This, therefore, has presented a rather large issue for me. 

I find that at times I'm not the most social of people and can be somewhat difficult to get along with, but that's basically true for all people, so... The thing is, is that I actually quite like hanging out with my friends, and at first I was a bit upset about this whole new extended Gryffindor group (occasionally featuring Frank) but I've actually come to quite enjoy it. 

Just a little bit. 

Don't tell Black, because it has nothing to do with his annoying face.

I don't even know why I brought him up really, he's just been particularly Black-ish lately and it's been bugging me. Anyway. 

The issue with avoiding Remus is that for the better part of each day I have to also avoid my friends. There's only so much homework I can get done, what with it being holidays and all. I have, however, successfully gone down to the Black Lake and had some calming naps. I also had another study session with Mark Abery, who, I am happy to say, is much improved with charms. I didn't pry into his personal life and the weird sad love triangle thing he's got going on (imagine being in love with someone who's into another person, right?) but I'm sure it will come back up again at some point.