The Executioner

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I sat against the concrete wall, staring at the fly across the wall from me. The adrenaline had subsided during the van ride to the Capital Building. I had numbly been led to my cell and placed inside. I had immediately sunk down against this wall, not moving in the hours that passed after.

In my mind, I kept analyzing every move I had made since I entered the Ki'i, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. I should have pressed Derek more for information on how he planned to get us out of the Recreation Zone. I shouldn't have allowed him to be the one making the plans. I should have seen that something was off. He'd never done that before. When it was a mission that involved both of us, we worked together to develop a plan. That should have been the first off thing I'd noticed.

I should have been more weary when I'd realized that the Guardian's had found us so quickly after the search warrant had been issued. They shouldn't have found us without demanding to search the Place of Worship.

It had been too easy to get into the prison. The best Guardians were supposed to be working there, even if there were less staff members at night. We never should have been able to get into the cell blocks that easily. The Guardian's shouldn't have been defeated as easily if they had been Guardians who were trained to be in a high security prison. They should have put up more of a fight.

I shouldn't have trusted Frei as easily as I had. Even if he did not know about the records being falsified or wanting to be the one to sentence us, it wasn't a reason to trust him. He had been mine and Derek's teacher, yes, but that still wasn't a reason to go with him as willingly as I had. Perhaps it was the strain of the past few weeks finally wearing me down. Maybe I had thought I really could have trusted him. I should have pressed Emily more for information about her plan. I had trusted that Farris had a plan for once we were out, but we hadn't expected them to be gassed as soon as they were outside.

I put my head in my hands, rocking back and forth. So many mistakes. So many minute details I'd missed. Just as I had with the Chameleon Agent mission. I hadn't seen any of it coming and I should have. I was told that I was smart, that I was one of the best. Was I really if I had made this many mistakes? How could I be the best if I couldn't read people properly? If I couldn't figure out who was really to be trusted?

I wasn't the best. It was just another lie they had fed all of us. I wasn't anyone special. I was an eighteen-year-old kid who lived in a world that only killed. There was no real justice. There was no hope. You either hid or you were killed for whatever reason. There was no fighting back. There was no rebellion. There was no real unity.

We were all fighting alone and anyone who didn't realize that was fooling themselves. We had never stood a chance. The country would go on the way it always had. The Elders would hold the power and the Guardians, Agents, and Officers would enforce the Elders wishes.

A new Executioner would be trained to be better than Derek. There would be a more lethal Officer of Justice than I could ever had dreamed of being. There was always a young prodigy to take our places. We were no one special. We were just easily replaceable.

I lifted my head and rubbed at my sore eyes. There were no more tears to be cried. No more mourning that could be done over the lives we'd lost. I was thankful that Caleb had been in the Guardian House and not the main prison, that he could have gotten away without suffering the fate of the rest of us. At least one of us would be able to have a small victory.

I rested my head against the cool concrete, watching as the fly flew over to the sink and rested on the knob. Things were going to be worse than they ever were and we were going to be the ones to blame. People wouldn't want to see that we had tried our best to make a difference. They would just see our failure as another one of our screw-ups. The progress that the livestream would have made would be wasted. I was a liar just like everyone else. A fraud. Another person they couldn't trust.

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