Second Snapshot (Picture This Sequel: Niall Horan)

-Overrated fears. [Chapter 33]

“Will it though Ashley? Didn’t Niall make sure you were okay with it?”

“Of course he did, like a thousand times Ellie. But you know what he’s like, he’s enthusiastic and I didn’t wanna ruin it for him. It’ll be fine.”

I repeated but she still did not look convinced.

“Ashley…When the hell are you gonna tell Mum and Dad? You’re going to freaking Ireland tomorrow and you haven’t even-“

“Keep your voice down!”

I scolded absentmindedly pointing the eye-pencil at her which she raised her eye-brows at. Awkwardly I retreated the pencil from being poised in her direction and resumed to lining my eyes with it, but not too thickly, otherwise it just makes me look totally trashy. I’m almost as picky about make-up as I am about eating.

“Sorry, it’s just I don’t know how you can be so calm about all of this.”

“Nobody said I was calm.”

I snapped. And really, this was true. Now I’d told both Niall and my sister that eating out tonight was fine, but really, I was freaking out on the inside. These past few weeks when I’d been having no therapy sessions at first it was good, and I was doing okay, sticking to my dietary plan and resisting exercise but as it started to progress and I got more engrossed in work and missing Niall  I guess old habits really do die hard and now, I was slipping back to square one again. It wasn’t as bad as it had originally been, but honestly, I had no idea how I hadn’t completely freaked out right now at the thought of eating a proper meal not only in front of Niall, but in front of the four other guys as well who, after the hospitalised incident, knew about my…issues too.

“Right, sorry. I just, I don’t see how you’re going to pull this off.”

Sighing I refrained an eye-roll as I dropped my eyeliner into my clutch and then sat down in my desk chair cocking my ankle to the side as I examined me heels against the wooden flooring.

“I’m going to pull this off,” I repeated. “Because I’m an adult now, and there is no way they’re stopping me.”

She just looked at me for a moment. Ellie grew out of her dis-obedient stage when she turned sixteen and to her, dis-obeying Mum and Dad was new turf for her. But for her disobeying was things like sneaking out to parties, or sneaking back in at night an hour past curfew. But this time for me it was spending Christmas with Niall in Ireland, the boyfriend they didn’t even knew I had, let alone approved of. To be honest, I was quite surprised at myself too. But after living away from home for so long I just got this sense of not even registering them as my family anymore. That was pretty extreme but in a way I’d been so wrapped up in Niall I’d just forgotten about them in a way, not that I could say it bothered me though. Sad, but true. Now that I thought about it, and every day I fell even deeper in love with Niall I think it was pretty clear to me what I wanted. I wanted Niall, I needed to stay with Niall, as my new family. Him as a boyfriend wasn’t just a hobby, it was practically my life. I just had to find a way to make my parents see that, my Father would be easier to convince than my Mother. In fact I could almost hear the poisonous words rolling off her tongue already. No, you will not be with him; he’s not right for you. But he was anything but wrong for me, he was so right for me, so freaking right. And why she couldn’t see that, would have me stumped for forever.

“You know…He really cares about you Ashley.”

At this point I slipped my gaze to hers to see if she was smirking or anything, but she wasn’t. She was looking completely honest and genuine.

“I know.”

I replied smiling slightly as I did so, and really, I did know this, because he showed me every day.