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thirty ✰ a. barnes (lad)

Austin Barnes - Hi Steph, it's been a while :/  Wanna catch up?

I don't even think before sending my text. I need someone right now; I need him right now.

Steph - yes, please come over.

My heart beats like a drum as I write my address, finishing the text by telling him to just walk in, the dor's unlocked. I have no intentions of moving now - or ever. Now all we do is wait.

The door opens, followed by footsteps progressively becoming louder. And as he appears, I can't look at him. It hurts. I look away, closing my eyes tightly. My breathing hitches in my throat and the tears begin falling. I hear fast footsteps and then arms are around me. I somewhat inch away from him, and the comfort he's offered. I haven't had someone in so long. Feeling human contact after days of being isolated is difficult. But Austin continues to hold me, and eventually, I melt into him. Finally turning to face him, to look into his eyes after so many years, I notice his soft expression. He's seen the tissues, noticed the wine. And now he's trying to put my heart back together. But unfortunately, that's past unimaginable. Austin can't fix me. I stare into him, feeling his embrace. And everything comes back to me. THat night, what I did to him, how I left, and I break down. The sobs seem to shake the room. My tears soak both mine and Austin's shirts. And I can't breathe.

"Steph, it's okay. I'm here." I feel his hand on my cheek, gently wiping away the hot tears. I continue to blubber in his arms, completely unable to form a sentence, or even talk for that matter. Austin combs his hands through my hair. It's been so long since I've had this - since I've had him. And for a while, I really forgot how much I missed it. Austin gently grabs my shoulders, pulling me away to face him. Just seeing his face, staring into his eyes makes my heart pound in my chest.

"You wanted to catch up. Let's start with what's going on. What happened, Steph?" He asks, softly. And if it was anyone else, I would've turned away. I would've went back to being alone, and broken. But it's not anyone - it's Austin. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the nightmare I'll have to relive.

"H-he cheated on me, Austin; r-right in front of me." The memories flash through my mind again, streams of tears fall from my eyes as I stare at the wall in front of me. I can't get myself to say his name. But Austin knows exactly who I'm talking about. His face instantly turns from soft and concerned to enraged. And I notice his clenched fists. And no matter how much I would love for him to hurt Brad, I can't let him. His reputation will be ruined, and possibly his career as well. I place a gentle hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to look up at me. When he does, his face immediately softens again. Austin removes my hand from his shoulder, holding it lightly in his. And I don't stop him. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. I haven't felt butterflies in years - not since Austin left. Brad and I never had this connection, and I was dumb to overlook that.

"I-I'm sorry, Steph. I should have helped you dump that jerk years ago. I never liked him and you knew that. But we were young, we were dumb. I don't blame you. But as your best friend, I-I could've helped. And then you wouldn't be here, like this." He says softly, referring to the mess I call an apartment. My heart aches listening to him apologize. Because he doesn't have to, it should be me. I sniffle, looking down into my lap as Austin plays with my fingers.

"Austin, please ... don't apologize." I say, almost as a whisper. His face expresses confusion.

"I have to, Steph." Austin's voice shakes. My head snaps up from my lap. And he continues to stare at me, passion in his eyes.

"Austin, no. You never did anything wrong-" Even though it was barely possible, the volume of my voice lowers even more. And it cracks with every word.

"Yes I did!-" I look into his eyes, searching for some kind of explanation. Sure he walked away from me the night of grad, but really I was the one who should've turned around and run back to him. I was the ignorant one. Austin has nothing to be sorry for. I find myself leaning closer to him, awaiting his reason as to why he should be sorry. He licks his lips, taking a small breath.

"I never told you I love you." My heart stops. After all of these years, it's finally clear - I love him, too. And my heart starts to beat again.

"I-I love you too, Austin." I exclaim, almost breathless. A smile spreads across his face. And I take in the sight, realizing how much I've missed it. I can't help but smile back, a blush inching onto my cheeks.  ( tHe sNAcK tHaT sMiLeS bACk ) He takes both of my hands in his, the warmth of his hands overpowering the coldness of mine.

"I don't care if this seems like the wrong time. I've been waiting nine years to ask this, and there's nothing stopping me now. Steph, will you go on a date with me?" I've been hurt. Scratch that, I am hurt. And being betrayed and broken in the past has made me very indecisive of who I concern myself with. But as of now, I'm sure of one thing. Austin's the only person who could fix me.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Barnes." I say, brushing away the final tear gliding down my cheek. And as I continue to quietly sniffle, Austin wraps me in his embrace. His cologne, his touch, even the sound of his voice; everything is coming back once again, but this time, only good memories come to mind. I watched him walk away in the past. But I have no intention of letting him go again.

As we both sit on the floor of my living room, surrounded by tissues, I'm calm in his arms. The feeling of his body on mine, his arms around my waist, is just so right. Resting my head on his shoulder, thoughts run through my mind; happy thoughts. Austin's the only one designed for me. And I guess it took a few obstacles to figure that out. ( *cough cough* brad the BiTCh ) But we've made our way back to each other. Maybe sometimes, the story is written to have you suffer through the bad, only to be rewarded with happiness in the end. I guess this story really does have a happy ending.

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i listened to so many sad songs while writing this to get myself in the right mood haha honestly, i think it worked ! anyways , i really hope you like it girl !! 💗

✰ jillian