"Pupunta din si David"
"I don't care"
"Rhian sigurado ka na ba talaga? Hindi kita pipigilan pero gusto kong masigurado na alam mo ang ginagawa mo"
"I'm sorry na dinadamay pa kita dito but I promise kakausapin ko lang siya"
"Nandun din si Angge, alam mo naman yun"
"She knows"
"Wow!" JM crossed his arms looking at me with a teased smile.
"Natomboy ka talaga sa kaibigan namin ano?" He added and I almost answered him with a swat.
"Hindi ako tomboy" I rolled my eyes. He chuckled shaking his head.
"Inlove lang" I continued almost pouting.
"Inlove na inlove nga, lakas tama! Pero warning lang Rhian ah, ang alam ko kase nagkakamabutihan na yung dalawa eh. Hindi naman siya nagkwekwento, si Angge ang paniguradong masnakakaalam ng score nung dalawa pero nahahalata na namin eh"
"I'm not expecting anything"
Lie.
"Gusto ko lang talagang makausap si Glaiza"
Lie.
"Matagal ko ng tanggap na wala na talaga"
Again. Lie.
"Basta masure ko lang na masaya na talaga siya.."
Gulp. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat 10 times.
"..masaya nadin ako"
Lies! All lies!
I can taste the pain with each word in each sentence and would you believe that I wanted to laugh with how pathetic those words are? Every word is painful that I can almost taste blood. I know. I'm pathetic. But this is my last shot. I'm still hoping.
"Rhian naman! Nag-iisip ka pa ba?"
"Yes B. At eto nalang ang naiisip kong way..you know..to say goodbye"
I know what she really meant but I know I can't win in her way. But then again, I also know she won't step in my way.
"And you think ako ang niloloko mo jan sa sinasabe mo? Rhi you can fool me, your family and everyone and then ano? Worth it ba?"
There you go. She knows me as much as I know her and it's annoyingly funny at times. I honestly don't see the point of conversing with her when I already know where our conversation is heading in the first place.
"Siya yun Bianca. You of all people should know that she's so darn worth it"
"To hell with that line Rhian! Hindi ka pa ba napapagod?"
Oh fuck! That question again. That I'm not prepared and now I see the point of having an argument with her. I wanted to scream out of frustration just because of that stupid question. Same question she asked almost 2months ago. Same question that broke not just my heart but my whole being.
But No.
I love her.
And.
I'm holding on to that.
I'm holding on to Love.
Even if it hurts..
"I love her. Hindi ako mapapagod but..if she still choose to not choose me, then I'll let her go..but not my love for her. No. Panghahawakan ko to"
Deep sigh from the other line and a minute of silence from both of us.
"Hindi ka naba talaga mapipigilan?" Bianca finally broke the silence. I smiled.
"No"
Another deep sigh from the other line.
"Call me after. Naiintindihan mo?"
I laugh.
"I will mother. Thanky-"
"Cut it! Just call me or I'll be banging your phone nonstop"
"I get it B. I'll call you and send you an update every 15mins"
"Good girl"
I dropped the call and closed my eyes. My mind traveling back to a certain memory I had with Glaiza when everything was still confusing, hands sweating, stealing glances, weird eye contacts, weird smiling and just amazing. That certain moment with her..that I'll forever cherish.
