Winter in August

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Hiya... I know it's been a while but here it is;) Hope you enjoy xxx

They continued to walk in silence. Fletch was taking in how much Jac had just told him and Jac was trying to figure out what about Fletch made her want to talk to him about stuff, a quality nobody she had ever met possesses quite the same way. The night was getting colder and they both subconsciously wrapped their coats tighter around themselves. The air was crisp, as was common on a winter's night, though unusual in the middle of August, but it felt right. Each breath released escaped in a white cloud which lingered for a few seconds before dissipating into the night, as if also scared by the silence between the two.
"How are your kids?" Jac suddenly asked, realising that they had talked about Emma but not his children.
"They're well... I think" Fletch grinned "Evie keeps herself to herself mostly but she's doing well in school, a bit worried about results day but she's worked hard so I expect it will have paid off..."
They reach a narrow part of the pavement and their strides are not synchronized so they bump into each other and struggle to stay up right on the icy pavement. Jac slips her right arm through his left which is tucked neatly into his pocket, providing a steady hold to stop her slipping and they fall into step with each other.
"Mikey is enjoying his football, if only I could get him to concentrate in school the same way" Fletch rolls his eyes "Ella is loving swimming and has dragged me to the pool every weekend since you left, I swear she is like half fish or sommin!"
Jac laughs quietly and Fletch smiles, glad he could amuse her
"And Theo... Theo misses Emma"
"Yeah... she mentioned missing him too."
"Is she coming back to the Creche?" Fletch asked
"I... I don't know Fletch it's... complicated" Jac tried to explain
"What do you mean cause, you're back now. I get that you were away and everything but you're back now so what's the problem?"
"The thing is... I might not be staying." Jac deliberately avoided his gaze. Fletch stopped in his tracks
"What do you mean?" He asked quietly, confused.
"I mean... maybe this hospital, isn't the place for me anymore."
They walked further.
"Jac, you can't just walk away from this place, not after everything that has happened"
"Maybe that's exactly what I need to do, look, I haven't decided anything for sure yet Fletch but, since the shooting... things have been different and maybe a fresh start..."
"Wait hold on, hold on" Fletch interrupted "We've been here before. You were going to leave that day, you gave that letter to Raf" Jac nodded sadly, knowing where that letter had taken him "So, why didn't you? You had the chance but you stayed so why now do you want to leave again? Jac, I can't understand if you're not telling me anything." Fletch finished, exasperated
Jac didn't know what to say. She wasn't good at this, talking. She was ready to leave Holby but as she recovered from the incident with Fletch by her side the whole time, she realised she couldn't. She had convinced herself that she was staying for Fletch, that he needed her after losing Raf but really, truth be told she needed him more than ever.
"I don't know. Things have just... come to an end here"
"You mean you got what you needed? Gaskell's procedure is this what this is all about?" Fletch said, suddenly angry
"No!" Jac stopped and turned to face Fletch, resting her hands on his arms "Fletch this isn't about anyone but me and Emma" She didn't want him to know that when she found out about him and Abby, she couldn't keep telling herself that he needed her because he clearly didn't. She decided then that Holby wasn't the place for her, not anymore.
Jac stared into his eyes, his face was still tense from shouting and she reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, almost in a trance. He looked back into her own eyes, so calm and delicate but sad. She needed this to be goodbye because she couldn't keep seeing those eyes every day. Those eyes that laughed when he laughed and stared right back at hers unlike most people she'd ever met. Those eyes that would tell her more than Fletch ever needed to vocalise. She opened her mouth very slightly and whispered
"I'm sorry" Her voice shaky and sad, before reaching up on her tip-toes and placing a kiss to his cheek, her hands pressed against his coat. She quickly pulled away and turned not wanting him to see her face but he was quicker and grabbed her wrist, spinning her back round and into him. His arms wrapped around her waist and hers were over his shoulders as he pressed her against him, tight. Jac's cheek was against his warm neck and she squeezed her eyes shut tight, willing herself not to cry in front of him, knowing this was goodbye.
He knew too, deep down. He knew she was saying goodbye but he was trying to deny it, trying to stop her. He turned his head and whispered in her ear
"Don't go" his lips brushing her skin
Jac clenched her jaw, containing her emotions. She pulled back slightly, out of his embrace so that they were facing each other, but she kept her head down, and he kept his arms around her. Her hands fell down and were now pressed against his chest, fiddling with the fabric.
"I'm sorry" she said again, quietly
"Stop it"
"Fletch..."
"I mean it."
Jac was surprised at how firm he was being and looked up at him. He looked her in the eye and continued but more gently
"I don't want you to go"
Jac was still looking into his eyes and she could no longer hear the cars or the sirens and the cold was no longer cold and the night was no longer dark. He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did next. He dropped his head and captured her lips with his. His lips were sweet and like nothing she had ever kissed before. It was incredible and Jac kissed him back, her hands reaching up to link up around his neck. He was still around her waist and pulled her tightly up against him. Jac had never experienced a kiss like it but her instincts kicked in and she knew this would end badly, no doubt for her because of Abby and she didn't know if she could cope with what came after something so amazing so she needed to get away. She pushed against his chest and tore herself away from him and turned in the other direction and ran. As she did the tears fell down her face because she could never say good bye to him.
Fletch closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his head back up to the sky. She was incredible but he was confused. She kissed him back, right? He didn't follow her but turned into an alleyway towards his house.

Ayyyy so there's part 4, way later than promised, sorry:)))) Please comment, I'm legit making this up as I go along so any suggestions welcome xx

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