BOYS WILL BE BOYS | JILIX

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ONE; BROTHER.

the wind was blowing gently on felix's face as he rested his head on the window of his brother's room.

his freckles reflected on the glass, resembling the glistening stars at night. his brother always told him to be proud of his freckles, they were like little sun kisses. he liked calling them that — it made his freckles sound cooler than they are.

he could still remember the suffocating smell of his cologne and the way his dimples popped up whenever he'd smile. the memory of him made felix smiled softly but it fell quickly when he realized that he wasn't there anymore.

his room was now covered in dust that made him cough and wake up from his pleasant daydream. he looked around the room that was left untouched for two years. the red duvet was never changed since the day he passed, and somehow his smell still lingered on his pillows.

felix found comfort in this room. although it was filled with dirt, spider webs and rats, it felt like he was sitting right next to him on the large bed where they used to cuddle when it was too cold for felix's sensitive body.

"i wish you were here right now." he muttered under his breath, gazing at the picture of him smiling brightly, as if he was the happiest person on earth. his warm eyes and soft gaze made him feel at ease. if only he knew that he'd die so soon, he would've asked for a smaller copy so he can carry it around with him and look at his eyes whenever he felt alone.

"what are you doing here?"

chan stood behind the door, his head peaking in and a small spider fell on top of his fluffy brown hair and crawled down his back and into the hallway. he shrieked, "ew!"

"i miss him..."

"we all do, lix." he walked over and put his arm over the younger's shoulder, pulling him closer. "he loved you more than anything and anyone. i'm sure if he saw how much you've grown during these two years he'd be proud of you."

felix stayed silent and glanced at the picture for a long second before averting his gaze and turning to chan. his face was covered in ash and his hands were muddy with bits of grass and dirt stuck on them.

"gardening?"

chan chuckled and nodded, "and i fixed dad's car so you can use it."

"really?!" his whole face lit up, and a wide smile spread across his rosy cheeks.

"yeah, wanna drive it?"

"oh my god, thank you so much!" he ran out of the room and made it to the garage while chan trailed after him with a satisfied smile on his face. seeing felix filled with joy made his heart beam with happiness.

"so, where do you want to go?" he asked, sitting in the passenger seat as felix took the driver's seat for the first time.

"can we go see him?"

"of course. we can bring him lillies and roses on the way."

felix's smile grew bigger as he pressed down on the gas and started driving. chan observed him, loving how his smile didn't fade away the whole ride. this is the felix he loves — not the gloomy kid with a heartbreaking frown. he prefers the boy with a bright smile and glistening eyes, the boy that radiates like sunshine.

he was lost in thoughts, not focusing on the road at all. perhaps if he payed more attention, gave a little warning, the coming would have never happened.

🖇

— 3:39 a.m;

[ i can't sleep :') ]

my writing isn't that good and i'm trying to improve, so i'm open to constructive criticism and would appreciate it very much. also, english isn't my first language so there might be some (or a lot) of grammatical errors.

thank you for taking the time to read this chapter and i hope that you'll stick around for more :) ♡