Stranger

Nora

           

I started walking without a destination.  I knew this neighborhood well enough that I knew where I was.  After rounding the corner, I quickly ducked away into a little shop and walked towards the back so I was hidden.  I was pretty sure I heard Vanessa come after me.  I felt really bad that I was making Vanessa's life harder.  She'd been so nice to me, but I just didn't fit in.  She thought I was messed up, too.  They both wanted to fix me.

"Can I help you find anything?" The store worker asked me.

I started looking around at the inventory to make it look like I'd come in here on purpose.  "No thanks.  Just browsing," I told her.  I saw Vanessa walk by the store, looking frazzled.  A few minutes later, she came back the other way, so I made my exit.  I walked up the street, put in my earbuds, and just kept going.

My feet took me to the skateboard park.  I didn't have my skateboard, but I could still watch.  I perched myself on a nearby rock and listened to some angsty music.  A couple months ago, I was where I belonged.  I knew what was expected of me and I knew how my neighborhood worked.  I went to a school I knew and did what I wanted.  Being a kid really sucked sometimes.  I had no control over what was happening to me.

I got another call from Lin and immediately hit decline.  A text message came through.

                Take a walk for a while, then come home.

At least he realized I needed some space.  I sat there for a long time and the sun was beginning to come down.  I watched the buildings nearby be set with a background of blue, then darker blue, purple and pink, and then almost black.  It was past dinner time, but I wasn't hungry.  As I saw the first few stars come out, I noticed Lin walking across the park.  I sighed.

He sat down on the rock next to me and didn't say anything for a while.

"I take it you've never been to therapy," he said as we watched a couple kids in the park.  The lights had come on, and there were bugs buzzing around the lightbulbs.

"Nope," I said.  "Minimum wage doesn't get very good benefits."

"I have," he told me.  I was surprised and looked at him.  "When I was a kid.  I had some trouble fitting in.  Good way to make a writer."

I nodded in agreement.  "Did it help?"

"Yeah," he said.  "The therapist gave me some ways to deal with it."

"Kids like me don't go to therapy," I told him.

"What kind of kid are you?"

"A freak.  I'm unlovable."

He sighed.  "You're not a freak, and I love you like crazy."

"You have to because you're my dad," I pointed out.

"Every kid should have at least one adult in their lives who loves them like crazy," he went on.  "You need someone looking out for you and who loves you even when you mess up majorly."

I sighed, and I had to admit it felt good that he loved me even though he'd only known I'd existed for a couple months now.  Most adults steered clear of me if they could, but he was hanging around.

"Are you mad at me?"  He didn't seem mad, but he had an odd way of being calm when my mother would have been screaming at me.

"No," he said.  "I understand why you ran away.  I wish you hadn't, but it is what it is."

"Do I have to go back?"

"Do you think it would be a good idea?"

I shrugged.  It probably would be, but I didn't like it.