Breathe

6: You found me.

It was on the Wednesday, 2 days after the lunch incident, that I was talking to Izzie about Denny when I had a thought.
"So in which circumstances would UNOS give Denny the heart and not the other guy?" I asked, thinking hard about it. Izzie shrugged and gave me the answer.
"If he's in a worse condition than him and could die tomorrow, which he could, mind you." She sighed, picking at her food with her fork. I took her hand and smiled at her. Lots of people told me that my smile  could cure cancer, so I tried to make her smile. Mine was infectious.

She smiled back weakly and then it hit me. "Question: say his heart did deteriorate, and he could get bumped up the list, then he would live, right?" I clapped my hands together and Izzie nodded her head, confused. "Hypothetically, I suppose. Yes, he would." She looked deep in thought. Then she caught onto what I was saying and her face lit up. "So if, say, his LVAD wire stopped working, or it were to break," she carried on, the plan dawning on her face.
"He'll need the transplant more!" I cried out, clapping my hands. So Izzie and I hatched out a plan. She took charge, finding every flaw in the plan and fixing it. When the plan was final, she told me to see Denny by tomorrow afternoon, which was when the heart was scheduled to be given to Mercy West.

On the next day, I was buzzing. I couldn't wait to see Denny get his heart. I went to see him that afternoon and I told him how I looked forward for him to get a new heart. He didn't know what was going to happen that day. He was optimistic, because he was Denny, but I could see the pain in his eyes. What I didn't know was that he had signed a DNR order. Izzie made me aware of that when she came into my room crying.
"He signed a DNR order? Without even asking me if I cared? And he expects me to be okay?" She screamed, startling me. I struggled to find comforting words, so she just huffed and stormed off.

That evening, when his heart was on its way, I heard a gun shot. I saw the flash, and I ran to my window. It had come from a restaurant. I pulled on my jumper and ran downstairs towards the exit. Everyone was so focused on their jobs that they hadn't noticed. I saw an ambulance outside, rushing past. I took a breath of the fresh evening air, watching the air come out my mouth. It reminded me of when I was a child, and I used to pretend I was smoking, and I laughed to myself. I looked down at my tiny, pale wrist, and I pulled the sleeve of my t-shirt down. No doubt, Izzie had already cut the wire. I saw loads of ambulances come in, and I overheard someone talk about a shooting in a restaurant. I gasped and walked back inside. I heard footsteps running behind me and then I heard a gunshot. I turned around and a hand covered my mouth in horror as I saw the cardio attending with a gunshot on his right shoulder.

I fought the urge to vomit as I ran to the front desk. Derek was sat there.
"Derek! Derek, the cardio attending has been shot, and he had a heart transplant in his box and we need to help him now!" I screeched, and he stood up and sprinted towards the door, where Cristina (Meredith's best friend) was knelt next to the man and covering his wound. I ran upstairs to see how Denny was doing, but his room was bolted and the blinds were down. I fought the panic and adrenaline running through my system, and I knocked on the door. "Izzie! It's Lexie, the man with the heart's here! Don't cut the wire!" I shouted, and she unbolted the door.
"What?!" She demanded, "Are you serious? I just cut it! Where is he? Dr. Burke?"
"He's been shot." I hissed, walking towards the psych wing. I sat with my legs to my chest, and my arms wrapped around them.

"Hi, Lexie. I'm Callie." Said a woman with dark hair. I nodded and cross my legs on the bed. "I have a question, and Mark likes you, and I, um, everyone says you're good to vent to, so... if you say 'I love you' to a guy and he doesn't say it back, and he goes off with his friends, do you not do anything? Do you say it again in case he didn't hear, or something?" She asked, sitting down on a chair. I shrugged and spoke.
"Callie, whilst I'm honoured that you came to me, I don't think I'm the best person for the job. I have an awful taste in guys, and the last time I said 'I love you' to a guy was in my senior year of high school. I'm 21 now." I huffed, and she laughed.
"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just... we are opposites and I don't get how I'm even talking to you about my love life, and Mark said I should talk to you, but it's my problem. Sorry to bother you." She smiled, and exited. I frowned, and lay in my bed.

When I went to get a snack from the cafeteria, Meredith pulled me aside.
"Thank you. For telling Derek about Preston. Cristina was scared and he needed help. Thank you. Now come here with me because Denny is in his room and he asked if I knew where you were." She smiled, leading me by the arm.
"He asked for me?" I asked, walking into his room. He smiled weakly at me when he saw me. I cried out and ran to give him a hug. "Denny! I thought you were gonna die!" I cried, and he wrapped his arms around me. "Have you seen Izzie yet?" I asked, looking around for the blonde.
"No. I stole a heart out of another man's chest. I'm not okay with that. And I signed the DNR, and she ignored it. But I'm happy and I'm looking forward to seeing her." He smiled, and I nodded. I told him how happy I was that he was alive, but I left. Izzie was bound to come shortly, and I didn't want to intrude on their moment.

I went to see him later that night, too. Lots of people applauded me for what I had done, but I didn't see the bravery in it; all I did was run inside, away from the danger, and tell Derek what had happened.
"Lots of people would have frozen in that situation." Said Derek.
"You did good, Lex." Said Mark, nudging me with his elbow. I smiled and nudged him back. Then I bumped into Dr. Webber who smiled at me and said he was very happy with what I had done, but his face was serious.
"I'm aware that you are good friends with Denny Duquette, as well as the interns who were looking after him. Have you seen them since this morning?" He asked, and I said no. "Were you aware of their intentions to cut the LVAD wire?" He asked, and I shook my head. "I hope you aren't lying to me, miss. grey." He smiled sternly, and walked off. I bit my lip and went to find them.
"Izzie, Dr. Webber knows about your plan to cut the LVAD wire. I don't know how, or who told him, but he's angry. I'm sorry." I said, walking into the intern locker room. Meredith, Izzie, Cristina, George and Alex were all huddled together. Izzie gasped and placed her head in her hands. I smiled apologetically and left.