Breathe

4: Picking up the pieces.

I spent the next week in bed. I didn't see the heartbroken Denny, but Izzie told me all about their dates. The noises she made were cute but loud, and my head throbbed all day long, and all night. I didn't want to eat. It wasn't a conscious decision I made, I just felt pretty shit. Mark came and saw me on the third day of my fever.
"Hey, Lex. I've heard that you have a fever. Must suck, huh? I know how much you love to walk around. But I need you to do me a huge favour." He said and I rolled my eyes. Of course he only came to me for a favour.
"What is it, Mark? I wanna sleep." I said, my concentration span decreasing in size.
"Pretend to be my girlfriend for a day and I'll be your bitch for a day. I'll make sure I have no surgeries. I'll do whatever. I just... need you to do this for me. Please." He asked, smiling as sweetly as he could. I rolled my eyes and agreed. He was my friend, and I could do this.

The day, all in all, wasn't too bad. I didn't have to do much except talk to this random woman. She, as it turned out, was his ex-girlfriend. Ad he was trying to make her jealous. I was a pulling method. Was he freaking serious?!
I watched about three films before lunch, with the blonde woman coming to see me quite a few times. The only thing that didn't go well was at lunch, when a nurse gave me some bread. I declined politely, and she got all angry at me. She tried to force feed me my bread, but someone heard me screaming and saw the nurse trying to force feed me.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Someone demanded, walking in and stopping the woman. "Are you crazy? Why are you trying to force feed the patient!" It was the blonde haired ex, and Dr. Karev. "Lexie! Should I go get Dr. Webber?" He asked, taking the woman out of the room.
"I'll go get Mark." Said the blonde woman. I did not need to see him at this moment, but h was my fake boyfriend so it made sense. My throat was raw and my eyes were puffy with tears. My breathing was ragged, and my balls were in fists, a position they were in at least 33.3% of the time.

Mark was in surgery, and he couldn't come out and see me because people would think there was something going on between us. Meredith came to see me.
"Hey." She said, knocking on my door. "I heard what happened earlier. Must have sucked. I know I haven't been the best sister you could ask for, but you just have to understand that you are someone I never wanted to have to meet. You had my father. I was supposed to have him, but you had him. You had a bright, happy childhood and I spent all of mine wondering why my father didn't try hard enough to stay with us. And now you're here, and you're trying. And I'm trying, too. But I can't just let you in. I'm sorry. But I'm trying." She sighed, clasping her hands together.
"You don't have to be sorry. You... you do this thing when you speak, with your hands. I do it too. I noticed that you don't like apples either. I don't. And I'm hoping that if you can see that we're not as different as you thought. We don't have to be best friends. But you could not hate me." I said, and she nodded her head. Wordlessly, she left.

Mark came later that day. He came with the nurse who had tried to force feed me. And that blonde woman. I had noticed he had a thing for blondes. He had to pretend to be all caring. "Lexie. Nurse Poulter here has something to say. And after she says it, she's leaving the hospital and she's not coming back." He smiled tightly, nudging her forward. She said sorry, but that she wouldn't come to my funeral when I died. I rolled my eyes at her. Mark came in and told me he had a date with the woman that night. I tried to be happy for him, but I wasn't. I wasn't at all. The woman smiled at me and told me we made a cute couple. I smiled back at her and Mark told me he was going out for dinner. Before he left, he hugged me and then kissed my forehead. I decided to push him, so I grabbed his head and kissed him on the lips. It was a peck, nothing special, but he left speechless. I hoped he got my fever.

Izzie came in on the fifth day and told me about her date with Denny. I smiled and told her I was happy for them. I was feeling much better, and I had just eaten a bread roll (a whole bread roll!) when I decided to go and see him. He was smiling a lot, and I knew he was going to propose, with or without my approval. I was his best friend, after Izzie, but I wasn't his mother.
"I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been? Are you okay? You look pale." He frowned, and I shook my head.
"I'm fine. I had a fever, but I'm fine. I was in bed all day for five days. It sucked." I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. Denny asked me to grab his coat for him and grab the credit card inside it. "Why do you want your card?" I asked, curious. He smiled, his eyes dancing. "I'm proposing to Izzie in two days. That's our next date. Third time lucky, right? And who better than my best friend to choose my ring? Could you go and buy it? Please?" He asked, and I smiled widely.
"Of course! Thanks Denny, I feel honoured." I smiled, took his hand and hugged him.

I had my parents call to ask if they could take me out for my sister's birthday dinner. Dr. Webber let me, reluctantly. I didn't eat anything at dinner, but no-one noticed. Before I went, I asked Derek about wedding rings. "Derek! Hey, you have a minute?" I smiled, running to see him. He looked at the OR board and nodded. "You have any advice about proposing and rings? My sister's boyfriend is proposing and I'm helping him plan out everything." I lied, effortlessly. He smiled and told me to go for something personal but sweet. I went to tell Denny I was going, and he smiled, wishing me luck.

I went with a beautiful sapphire hexagon on a silver band. It was so pretty. I put it on as I was walking back into Seattle Grace and I saw Mark making out with the woman against a wall. Passionately. She saw me watching them and she gasped; he turned around and saw me staring at them. He shrugged and went back to kissing her. I looked away, picking up the ring that had fallen from my hand hastily, and I ran off. I balled my fists and fought back the tears that threatened my eyes. I wasn't great at controlling my emotions, hiding them from others, so when Mark didn't come back to see me that night, and when I checked that everyone was gone, I went to see Denny. And I cried to him about how my love life was shit and Mark had used me, and how I just wanted to be happy with someone, since I had an awful taste in guys. He hugged me and told me that it would be okay, but it wouldn't. He was dying and I was probably too.