Teenager

forty six

"Spill what?" He asks, now training his eyes on Youngjae's chin. Anywhere but the elder's demanding eyes.

Not that Yugyeom was scared of his Youngjae hyung, it's just that... He could be scary when he wanted to, and it seemed like he wanted to right now.

"Really?" Youngjae scoffs, and his tone makes something ugly settle in Yugyeom's stomach. "Spill."

When Yugyeom continues to keep quiet for the next few seconds, Youngjae humourlessly chuckles before jerking the younger's head in his direction.

"Alright Gyeommie," Youngjae sighs. "Tell me why you were shaking and crying on the couch at 2:00am?"

Now, Yugyeom didn't really want to talk about that, and he didn't really need to talk about that. It truly didn't matter, since it wasn't that big of a deal.

He's used to it anyways.

"Nightmare—"

But Youngjae was smarter than that. Of course Youngjae was smarter than that.

"Panic attacks," Youngjae says blandly, treating the subject like it was simply just an ordinary topic. "They're back?"

Choosing to once again leave the question unanswered, Yugyeom clears his throat and tries to look up to the ceiling, looking anywhere but Youngjae's eyes.

The elder's eyes now look intimidating, and Yugyeom would rather not stare into those orbs.

"So they are," Youngjae laughs humourlessly, trying to hide how angry and hurt he was.

It was kind of ridiculous how he was basically having this conversation with Yugyeom by himself, seeing as the latter wasn't speaking and wasn't answering his questions. It was also kind of ridiculous how Youngjae was getting all the right answers to his questions.

It's not like Yugyeom was that open of a book, was he?

But Youngjae wasn't someone closed off either.

For Yugyeom, it was easy to read the elder.

From his tone, the maknae could tell that Youngjae was angry and annoyed.

But when he dared to look into his eyes, Yugyeom knew that Youngjae was hurt.

Hurt because Yugyeom had hid this, and didn't bother to tell anyone.

Hurt because Yugyeom has been told to always tell his hyungs when things weren't going the best.

Hurt because he kind of expected Yugyeom to having a rough time while they were all fussing over Mark, but he also expected Yugyeom to tell someone.

"It's not always about you," Youngjae says, removing his hand from Yugyeom's chin and putting it on the back of his head. "Not everything is about you."

Yugyeom doesn't know where this conversation was going, but he does know that Youngjae is right.

Yugyeom knows that not everything is about him, and that's why he tries to draw the least amount of attention to himself.

Always keeping to himself and never complaining about trivial things, Yugyeom tries to keep himself under the radar.

But that doesn't mean that sometimes he's allowed to be spot on the radar.

"I know that," the maknae whispers with a frown. "That's why I didn't say anything."

Youngjae smiles lightly at that, he knows that that's why Yugyeom kept things to himself.

But it's ridiculous.

If there was a problem, then there was a problem, regardless of who's it was.

"But if things need to be about you, then they can," Youngjae assures, pressing a light kiss to Yugyeom's forehead. "If you need attention, if you need care, if you need love, Gyeom, don't hesitate to ask."

Yugyeom keeps quiet at that, not that Youngjae expected anything else.

Yugyeom didn't voice what he wanted all the time, but that didn't stop his hyungs from understanding what he wanted.

Maybe Yugyeom might've rambled on and on to Youngjae about what has been going on for the few weeks, about his panic attacks, flashbacks and all of that.

Maybe Youngjae might've held him and consoled him and told him that it was fine as long as he let someone know.

And maybe Yugyeom would remember those words of advice this time, even if he has a habit of forgetting.

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this actually might be the nth time i'm promoting myself in this book, but follow me on ig @ strawberryookihyun to keep up with my spreads :)