Effortless (h.s.)

Chapter TWELVE - confide

i find this chapter so cringey i apologize idk who i thought i was writing this okay
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I shut my mouth tight and gave him a menacing stare, knowing that I shouldn't of made this so awkward. This one time I had not reacted well enough, tough enough, or strong enough. He saw through my act earlier with this girl and now I was about to pay for it.

"I want to let you in on a little secret," Harry breathed into his words, fiddling with his fingers before bringing his eyes to meet mine. My heart fluttered but my eyes hardened.

My teeth clenched and I waited for Harry to speak again, it seemed hard for him to get the words out. His eyes flashed a concerning wave of nerves before returning to the counter once more, he regained himself and started again, "You're really good at pretending you don't care, about all of this. I've known you for a week and within that time I think," he cleared his throat and dampened his lips with his tongue, "I think I've seen it twice. I've seen you become frantic and... and I know you've felt that way more than two times around me."

"Cocky," I said the one word so harshly that Harry sat up straighter.

"No, it's not me being cocky. I have been running this over and over in my head," he put his fingertips up to his temples and exaggerated his words, "And I know it's not me. You feel something and you're hiding it."

The clenched muscles in my face dropped and I felt a secured wall hiding me from Harry fell down within a second, I gave it one last shot though, "You said it yourself, you've only known me for a week-"

"Last night when I put my hand on your leg, I saw it. Don't tell me you didn't feel something because I saw it in your face before you jumped up and ran off," each of his words were slow and powerful, pushing his case further along. Harry's eyes were harsh yet pleading me to tell the truth.

I almost let myself, but once I thought everything through I added it up in my head.

Why would it even matter? He just had this girl in his house for breakfast, and she probably spent the night too. What would having the information that Lennon from down the hall has a crush on him do?

"Just now, you walked over to shut that door," I broke out of my deep thought when Harry swiveled over on his bar stool to point at the glace door leading to the terrace, "And I saw it again."

I raised my brows and blinked multiple times, my entire body was stuck behind the counter in his kitchen. Everything around me started to tunnel to Harry, burning in my stomach and fluttering in my chest, my eyes focused on him and how I could get out of this situation.

I couldn't always just run now, he had confronted me.

"I've been a fan since... since I was ten years old, what do you expect?" I asked, my voice cracked near the end of my question and he loosened up his tense shoulders, "It's a fucking celebrity crush, Harry, it doesn't matter."

He squinted at me and bit his lip in annoyance, "No, it's not. You said it yourself. I'm your neighbor Harry, I'm not the Harry Styles."

"Yeah, you are my neighbor Harry. And I'm here to clean your home, so I don't understand why you're having a sit down conversation with me about my feelings towards you. Sorry I'm a fan, and I'm sorry but I don't think this whole thing is going to work out," I spit out without thinking, "But I'm going to go home now and find a real job."

I rushed over to the front door and started to unlock it, having to undo multiple before reaching the last one.

Harry stood up immediately and rushed over behind me, slamming his hand on the last lock I was trying to turn. I stared at his slim fingers covered in rings and flared my nostrils.

"You're doing it again," he articulated each syllable as they left his mouth. Harry's lips were nearly right next to my ear. I could feel his warmth radiating off of him and onto my back, he wasn't directly touching me but he couldn't be more than an inch away.

Anger began to brew within me. I was not going to be interrogated over something so stupid from someone I hardly even knew, even if it was Harry Styles.

I swung around and pushed my chest up against Harry's, shoving him into the entrance way, "No, I'm not, you're being ridiculous and over dramatic. I just want to be your friend and help you clean-"

His body pushed me back into the door, leaning over mine and sending me into a perpetual state of silence and shock. My eyes opened wide as he stared down at me with a straight face, in slow motion his arm lifted up and his hand cupped my right cheek.

I swallowed and yanked my face away from him only to have him hold onto my cheek harder, "No. I'm not crazy, I see it," he repeated to himself.

I sniffled slightly and took a deep breath in, ignoring the nagging words in my head telling me to give in and tell him he was the only thing I ever thought about these days.

Now, I was in his home pressed up against the front door with him caressing my cheek and I couldn't find those words. I was too scared to admit anything, he would see me as I truly am, some fan.

"Why would you let me hold you like this if you don't, Lennon," Harry tried to suppress a small smile but it leaked onto his lips, while his pleading tone started coming out again. His fingers lightly brushed up and down my cheeks, they felt foreign to the touch but the feeling was pure heaven. My body went into overdrive and started to freak out, I knew if I kept it up he would find out I cared too much.

I drained my mind for the last time, I thought about my home life. I remembered how my parents unemotionally told me to leave and how fast everything switched. I swallowed and looked him dead in the eyes and shrugging, "To show you I have absolutely no feelings for you. And that you don't have that power over me, please get over it."

He shook his head slowly, not believing me, "Harry, I have known you for a week. A single week, we are friends and I..." I huffed roughly before seething the words I knew would work to get him to lay off of me, "I care about you as a friend," my eyes locked with his and he believed me by the way his eyes clicked. I hurt knowing I could lie to him and get away with it.

He puckered his lips, "You mean that?"

I nodded quickly, "Yes, I care about you."

"As a friend?" He confirmed, stepping away from me and running his fingers through the ends of his hair. I had to remind myself that this was a trap and he was trying to get me to admit my feelings for him.

I bit the inside of my cheek, "Yes, as a friend."

Harry forced a smile onto his face and walked away from me, but continued to face me, "I care about you too, so get your ass back in here and follow me," he spun around and started to head down the long hallway leading deep into his house.

I shut my eyes and let my facade down for a single second, and upon reopening my eyes I followed Harry down the long hallway filled with more tasks for me to complete, eliminating all feeling I felt in that one second.