The Lost Tribe: Maliha the Wanderer (Book 1)

Decisions

"He's looking at you again. His gaze is actually quite intense. It's almost unnerving how long he can stare at you without blinking. I think he would like to speak to you."

"When is he not looking at me?" Maliha huffed, rolling her eyes as she felt Uja's heated stare on the side of her face.

"Are you going to speak to him?"

"When I feel like it," Maliha murmured, watching as Enzo joined in on the warrior training her brother was leading the younger boys in. Makaio was trying to reach them to move as a unit but they hadn't seemed to understand the wisdom in his teachings yet.

"Maliha it's been a few weeks; he won't stand by for much longer."

Maliha shrugged her shoulders, sending a quick glance at Ujarak. His eyes met hers and the desperation in them almost made her feel bad but Uja had yet to show her what she needed.

"Maliha, why are you torturing him? Just look at the poor man, he looks so distraught." Maliha's eyebrow raised skyward as she glanced back at Uja, quietly agreeing with Xiuri before focussing back on her friend. "See, he looks as if someone he loves has died."

"I don't recall you being so talkative Xiuri."

Xiuri grinned widely, her teeth glistening against her dark skin. "I'm still quiet, I am," She interjected when Maliha scoffed at her. "I just know how to vocalise my feelings now whereas before I was too scared or ashamed to."

"Well- thank you for informing me of your feelings, Xiuri. I truly appreciate the insight but contrary to popular belief, I am not ignoring Ujarak out of my twisted desire to punish him. I merely have nothing left to say. He has not done anything different to warrant my forgiveness and acceptance. Until he can show me the truth of his words, I don't want to hear him say anything more. All he speaks are falsehoods if he cannot show them to be true."

"But it's so clear you love him Maliha, you can't hide your emotions from everyone so why torture yourself by denying this?"

Maliha sighed deeply, staring at the grass and hoping that it would open up and swallow her whole. She was tired or repeating the same things over and over again.

"My feelings for him have always been obvious, Xiuri. I won't deny I love him, but I can't love him more than I love myself and forgiving Ujarak and taking him back when he has not shown me that he has changed his toxic behaviour, would be doing just that. He is a creature of habit, so when he hurts me again because he will, I would have no one to blame but myself. I would willingly be subjecting myself to more pain. At some point, I have to love myself more than that."

"I can't disagree with that." Mumbled Xiuri, squinting at Uja interacting with Kamir. "What exactly do you think it will take? What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know but after all that he has done it has to be something significant." Maliha bit her lower lip as she pondered over Xiuri's words. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. "He hasn't done anything but talk and stare at me intensely. It's quite disconcerting."

It was obvious that Ujarak had changed marginally because he was here trying to learn from her father and mend the broken ties, yet Maliha needed more. She had no clue what it would take for her to accept him back, if she ever would, but it was imperative that her brother Makaio not only approve but accept Ujarak. As it stood, her brother had no respect or care for the man and for Maliha, Makaio's approval was a necessity.

"Maybe it's in the small changes he has made. He is extremely active with Enzo. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yes, it shows some sort of maturity on his behalf but still nothing that proves his love for me. It's all moot Xiuri, I have prayed on it and until I feel moved in my heart, I won't accept what he is offering." Maliha clapped her hand in finality and climbed to her feet. "Now, let's go." The last part of Maliha's words was mumbled as the very man she had been avoiding stood above them.