Naihabi Ridge

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Fear

The ground shook under my feet as if the very sands beneath me were going to crumble.

The sky was stained red and black from the battle up ahead and suddenly, I couldn't run anymore. Not because I was tired or because my feet were numb or that my collarbone was throbbing, but because I simply could not comprehend what could happen in battle. I slowed to a stop and after a second, everyone else stopped, too, giving me unsure glances. How could I possibly go any closer to such a place of death? How could they? How did they get enough courage to keep going?

"Avi," said Torin as he tugged on my sleeve, "we can't stop here..."

I couldn't talk for a moment. I just stared at him blankly and after a second, I nodded. "Yeah, I just... I just need a minute."

"We don't have a minute," he countered. "Just imagine how many people are depending on—"

"Let him be," Grengal interrupted, pulling Torin back. "He won't do any good if we force him."

Freire and Broch began muttering to themselves and it seemed like Freire just about passed out, but they left me to myself to calm down and think.

And think about what? My family?

My stomach lurched.

Hannah... her last expression was still etched in my brain, blocking any other memories of her I could've had. What if she hadn't made it? What if no one had made it? Mom, Dad, Lillian. They couldn't have died. I—I didn't know where they were, but I would escape and I would find them. They were alive, I knew it. I didn't know what happened that night, but I knew that Mom and Dad wouldn't give up until everyone was reunited. I knew that at least they were alive, and if I knew my parents at all, they wouldn't let their children be taken.

But then how did I end up in a refugee camp?

I sucked in a shaky breath and let it out. Escape, then freedom. Freedom, then family. It was simple.

I rubbed my eyes and rejoined the group, then I laid my hand on the dagger strapped to my thigh and nodded at Grengal, who signaled toward the darkened sky ahead, then we continued our march to freedom.

Soon, my stomach tightened and my steps seemed less and less willing as we came upon what was left of the summoning building. I was able to hear more than just the explosions, now. I heard the clash of swords and the cries of the injured and the shouting of commands. I heard the result of the rebellion.

And that wasn't it, either. The whole front face of the summoning building had been blown up and I could smell the smoke and ash from the remnants of the walls and burning wood structure of the building. The fire raged on as more explosions were set off and for a moment I had to compliment our makeshift chemists for making this many bombs.

"If you're unwilling to sacrifice yourself for this cause, turn back now." Grengal cast a grim stare toward his group.

My step halted and my eyes locked on the sand at my feet. My head spun in circles and the ground blurred as if it had suddenly decided to change from sand into water. I was dizzy and undecided. Was I strong enough to complete my job? Was I devoted to the people around me enough to be of any help? Was it even worth the effort?...

Yes. Of course it was. I had already decided on escape. There was no future in the prison called Naihabi Ridge. But was I willing to sacrifice myself to get out? Was I willing to sacrifice others to get out?

How badly do I want to escape?

I looked at Freire and raised my eyebrows. He marched on, though his knees were shaking violently, and he had an unidentifiable expression. Even he was determined enough to walk into this.
BOOM.